Written Whispers

Warning: This piece might be unhealthy to read for those suffering from self abuse, severe depression, or darker memories in general.
I remember…
I remember a dark journal bursting with words over shadowed lines- scribbled as if by another hand. It spoke of missing people who never were and ending the existence of the [...]

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I feel like my old self. Not ‘old’ as in how I was a few months ago before I started having all the flash backs and other PTSD junk but old as in how I felt when I first started to feel- when I first started to think of myself as a [...]

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I wrote this some months ago during a venting moment. I’ve considered not posting it because the writing process was enough to get some of it out of my system but… I feel that if I don’t set it free into the universe the writing thereof won’t mean quite as much as [...]

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This is my attempt at explaining some of what’s been going on. Getting pulled back to another time and place or having ‘flashbacks’ of bad experiences is part of the PTSD so I wanted to try to put some of what that’s like into what words because I had a really hard time explaining it [...]

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This one is… a few different experiences combined together. Three that come together more fluidly in my mind than any other. One of the times I ran away- along the highway on my bike, a time I went out to buy lunch before school- it was dark and I was riding my bike along that [...]

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I’m happy and feeling full of light and love and I ‘was’ writing about that when something else suddenly started to come out. I went with it because I’m so seldom strong enough to crank these thoughts out and I think my happy mood has something to do with this new found endurance. Either way, [...]

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[Note: This is one of those April posts that never made it to the laptop. Also, this might become a Tao of Me post soon, we'll see.]
I went outside today. Got up early and walked the cat as I’d promised him I would. Poor little dear was waiting at the door for hours, meowing and [...]

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Today Hunny and I went for a car ride with his mom. It’s was great and I really do love these little trips. We go along the back roads to take in the beauty of the woods, the lakes, and especially the wildlife. Deer, turkey, squirrels, ravens, ducks, geese, fox, raccoon, all kinds of little [...]

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“Oh, darkness? Are you there, darkness? I think it’s time you and I had another little heart to heart.”
You have stolen my April.
You hid under the guise of innocent humor and pushed me back to a place I had no desire to be. You draped an irresistible bait before my eyes and then tripped me [...]

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“Are you there, darkness? Of course you are there. You’re always there. The real question is- are you listening? For your sake I hope so.”
I have spent today in fear. Jumping at ever little sound and keeping all the lights on. Why you might ask? Because someone has tried to make me cower. Someone has [...]

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I’ve just had a moment of enlightenment.
I went and took a shower after my last post and a couple of comments, was wanting to get my writing mood going but I’ve decided that I’m infinity too tired to work in the realm of fantasy and drama tonight. Anyway…
So, I’d finished my shower and here [...]

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…the 100th Post of the Wannabe Violinist!
Oh my goodness! I’ve made 100 posts. Wow. I don’t really know what to type. It’s like when you finally fill a notebook and look back at how much you have written and giggle gleefully. Well, alright. That might not be what ‘you’ do but it’s certainly [...]

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