I wonder

What happened to the days
when we believed in Mary Poppins
and a spoonful of sugar
could save us all

Speaking of laughter, it’s a funny thing, when a smile breaks out over my face it scares me sometimes. It’s the unexpectedness of it. Not like when someone tells a joke and I chuckle and make some sly remark back for sake of a response. No, it’s different. Usually erupting from something I’ve read rather than a conversation.

It bursts out of me in a weird way, unfolding and rolling over my lips as they curl upwards feeling so unfamiliar and awesome at the same time.

There were moments in my not long enough ago past when I would smile without knowing it and someone would point it out. In those moments I would stop right away. Try to think about what caused my body language to betray my heart that felt so wretched; like a burnt fruit, rained upon and rotting.

Trust that imagery. Nothing else comes close in my mind.

It’s slow but I’m healing from those times. Smiles and laughter startling me at different turns and in a way I’m almost glad I’m not used to it- this marvelous reaction that hits me in such a way I might as well have sneezed. I’m glad because if this burst of happy came to me a naturally as anything else I don’t think I could enjoy it as much, don’t think I could try to catch it’s footprints with my words, or work so consciously to share it with the world.

Laugh a little for me, laugh a lot for yourself, and donate your secret smiles to children who don’t know how yet. It’s a great way to heal the world.

[On an unrelated note, I five to sneeze seven times in a row without fail everyday.]

I wrote you purty poem. Enjoy, you foul fragments.

Ode to Le Mental Odur’

There you stand with sword at my throat
offering mental health should my inspiration elope.

“I’ll think about it but…”

Instead to you I’ll blow a kiss
as I stand firm and sing you this:

“It sucks but…”

Rhyme
and rhyme
and rhyme again.

Through my words
I’ll shred your skin.

“Because…”

There you stand with sword at my throat

“…but all I can do is giggle…”

Because it’s your end I’ve wrote.

“Hahahaha…”

I am so weird. Don’t even ask where this came from.

I made No-Bake Pudding Cookies.

I’m always a little cautious when it comes to desserts because while I’ve proven to be a decent cook, despite my once upon a time denials, sweets never really come out as I intend them. Cake, sweet bread, cookies, muffins. Zip. I suck. No matter how much I measure they come out too dry, too runny, so some how- I always miss that bit of eggshell.

It never fails.

But this time, this was gorgeous. I decided last night that I wanted to make something for my Hubby since he’d be working and I’d be home for once (I’m technically sick but not in the contagious sort of way.) so I looked around on one of my favorite recipe sites for something fairly easy to make and procure since we haven’t been grocery shopping in awhile…

And then I came across No-Bake Cookies. Sounded like a good idea, I’m not really into them. I usually find them too dry or too sweet so I looked around until I found one that seemed to suit my lack of proper ingredients and then I came across it: No-Bake Pudding Cookies!

After reading the reviews and playing around a bit I came up with this alternative to the original recipe:

Ingredients:

1. 1 cup of sugar
2. 1 stick of butter
3. 3/4 cup milk
4. 1 package instant pudding mix (3.9 ounces / any flavor)
5. 3 and 1/2 quick cooking oats
6. 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Mix butter, milk, and sugar in a pot and bring to a boil for 3 minutes.
   [I had mine on simmer till the butter started to melt so I wouldn't burn it or the sugar.]
2. Turn off heat. Move off burner. Let cool just a moment.
3. Grab room temperature bowl and mix: instant pudding mix, quick cooking oats, vanilla extract, and boiled mixture.
4. Stir and mush together till it looks edible.
5. Place large spoonfuls on a flat non-stick pan (or wax paper).
   [Press each clump while still warm to prevent later crumbling.]
6. To eat quickly place pan in the freezer for ten minutes

Note on flavors:

1. Tried: Chocolate pudding mix came out a little bitter. You may want to add a little more sugar.
2. Tried: Lemon and banana seemed to come out the best and can be made with even less sugar.
3. Heard: Butterscotch remains very sticky.
4. Seen: Pistachio comes out green…

Great for people allergic to wheat, eggs, nuts, and soy. The site says it makes a lot more than it does- I got maybe 10-12 cookies out of each batch I did today though maybe I just like really big cookies… :)