Written Whispers

[Posted without more than checking the spelling, deal with it.]

A great day with little accomplished but what few things have gotten done,… well, they were as great as my day. :)

Woke up this morning with a plot in my head- this is the second morning like this in fact, and just had to start writing right away because it wouldn’t let me out of it’s fascinating grip until I had a good three pages of jarble on the laptop. I’m so happy I’ve started sleeping with it nearby, a word pad file open and waiting because goodness knows I have better chances of deciphering my terrible ‘just woken’ typing than my ‘completely awake’ scribbles.

Can’t have coffee but boy do I enjoy a good dose of virtual ink in the morning. :)

Ah, I’m so tempted to abuse my emoticons and post little :) :D :p ;) all over the place. A naughty habit to my writing that I only let rein in my blogging but only to a certain extent. Lol.

Two great things have happened today;

Firstly- well, it happened second but I want to mention it first because I live in the wonderful world of backwards randomness, I finally got the courage to show a bucket load of my writing to some of my biological family. Now, I’m not always a non confident person by nature… just with some things. I know I’m a good writer. I have great self esteem,… but at the same time I have a hell of a time pulling up the courage to show my writing to anyone.

Except for here of course but that doesn’t count. I’m just pushing a little button and wondering at the off chance that someone might see it. :)

Actually showing my work to others is a much more difficult task simply because I know I’ll get a response. Given, nowadays I know that response is more than likely going to be a good one… it’s still really hard. I don’t even show my writing to my Hubby until I’m sure I like because I might be able to tolerate criticism from strangers- I often laugh at it in fact, but if someone close to me were to even slightly say that I might be better trying something else… I’ll be very tempted to appease that person.

I no longer appease anyone but myself of course but the urge is there. Nevertheless, I’m so glad I sent my writing. :) It made me so happy to get the response I did and now I think I might have to pull out a bunch more writing just so I can hear some more. :D

There’s an emoticon again. :) And another one, which brings me to the second- which actually was the first, thing that happened to me today.

I found my friends!!!

Warning: I’m extremely tempted to start speaking like an LOL cat here but I shall attempt to restrain myself. :) Though more smiley faces might shine through as I can only contain so much happiness before it spill out onto the net and contaminates everything else. :) :) :)

I found them, I found them, I found them!

There are these two particular friends of mine,… well, they’re just wonderful. They’re my very best friends next to Keiyou and my adoptive sister. I just can’t put it into words… Oh, hell, I’m a writer. Of course I can. ;)

Back when I transferred into my first high school (my previous school didn’t have grades- art academy) I was all alone. I’d gone to the school a year prior but even then I didn’t get to know anyone and I most certainly didn’t keep up with any of them. My adoptive sister was one grade behind me so she was still in middle school.

I literally ‘knew’ absolutely no one. It was very daunting, fortunately my adoptive sister’s cousin (so my adoptive cousin if you’re attempting to follow this) tried keeping me close for awhile and introducing me to her friends. Unfortunately we’re some very different people. She, and her friends, are party animals. The very epitome of social butterflies while I was… socially stunted for lack of a nicer way to put it. I’d just moved out of my bio parent’s house and I was still pretty lost. :p

My cousin seemed to get the whole lost thing so when it turned out we had different classes she tried introducing me to someone else I could follow around like a lost puppy. That’s how I met J who introduced me to N and the two of them introduced me to all their other wonderful friends.

They were still much more social than me but I think even a wall could achieve that. I think the real reason I became so attached to them was because they were just so wonderfully weird, random, and open about everything like I wanted to be. It was just so amazing to be around people who were so awesome. I’d never had friends like that before.

I give my adoptive family a lot of credit for making me the person I am today and my past obviously had quite a bit to do with that as well but in the end I honestly think the two of them are a big reason why I opened up as much as I did. I wouldn’t have nearly as much respect for being random if I hadn’t met them.

Thank you! Both of you!

:) I’m so glad to have been found by you and find you myself all over again. :)

(Isn’t that a great title for a post? Eye catching.)

Blarg. My mind is awake- or as awake as it gets, but everything else feels so tired. My body aches, bones and muscles screaming abuse even though I’ve been rather gentle on them of late. My eyes feel heavy and my face burns- either a tooth, sinus infection, or both that have gone really bad.

But my mind is awake.

Awake. Awake. Awake.

Too awake.

I’ve been doing a lot of novel editing, more precisely plot, dialogue, and character editing. It’s fun on some level. The saddistic part of me that playfully calls itself ‘writer’ with a big toothy grin seems to enjoy taking apart my story and shaping it into something similar but slightly shinier. It cackles every time the inner editor comes out of the mental closet- where is usually belongs… until I need it.

Then there’s this other part of me, a much larger portion of myself that also calls itself ‘writer.’ It’s a proud creature dedicated to the craft of creation, seeing wisdom and light in every letter to the page, a new dance in every scene that comes together with plotful development- no matter how small. It also claws the walls and bangs it’s head fruitlessly ever single time the ‘oppressive’ red pen comes out to ‘put it down.’

Did I mention I used to be a protester of sorts? That second part of me would rather like me to mention that right now.

In short- I love and hate editing. Love it because I love story creation in general, hate it because,… well, many reasons. Not so much that I’m ‘editing’ the story but because editing is a tedious process that I’m still very new too.

Alas, as much as I hate it the second (larger) part of me (that has been throwing temper tantrums at the whole process) has to admit that a great story is a lot like a bonsai tree. It’s a beautiful living creature that wants to be shared with the universe. You might not want to prune it but in the end it can be a meditative task that will make it much more than just a simple tree.

Sadly, meditation still requires patience and a certain degree of discipline… I’m working on that.

In other news, before I get way off track, I joined the great evil known as FaceBook. I’m hopelessly addicted already but it’s still evil because it’s a social network and I have a personal vendetta against all things with the word social in them. I have other reasons I’m biased but this is a happy post and I don’t want to get into it right now.

So, yeah. Me – FaceBook – You go. – Click. Click. – Now.

In other news… I’m hoping to get my hair Barbied, re-purpled, and chopped before anyone else can see it. In English this means: I need to have it bleached, dyed, and cut before I work next. :)

Lastly, I’m still thinking about changing my username but I’ve been known as Spirit for so long… perhaps a new “pen” name for this new stage of life will do me good. I’ll still use Spirit in certain places because it’s who I am in those places but as I branch out with my writing I’m starting to feel a certain sense of longing for something else.

We’ll see where that leads. I gotta flow where my heart flows or the happy well of writerly spadunk runs dry and I start driving people (mainly myself) crazy and we just can’t have that now can we?

I’m off to go do more editing. Wish me luck… or foodles. I like foodles.

Peace, love, and peanuts!!!

~ Mmm, peanuts. ~