Written Whispers

I’ve been feeling the meme urge of late so here are a few I picked up along the week. :)

“I Want…” Wednesday:

What do you WANT from your boss/job?

I want to feel appreciated again. I want to be thanked for the extra things I do. I want to make more than the people I train- or at least the same amount. I want payday to be exiting again.

What else do you want this week? Share it all.

I want to settle back into my routine, or a routine, a little bit. I want to get things done. I want sunshine. I want to be outside. I want my friends to be happy and work through things. I want the kitties to feel better. I want to experience breakfast.

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Drug :: Addiction, love, chips.
2. Questions :: Answers, points, life.
3. Active :: Lifestyle, white shoes, shorts.
4. Facts :: Rocks
5. Amount :: Cash
6. Supervise :: My husband, my sugar rush
7. Ingredients :: Cake, seaweed, messy kitchen
8. Dentist :: Light blue, pain, strange chairs
9. Meal :: Ticket
10. Packaging :: Peanuts!

So fun I decided to do it again this week.

1. Burrito :: off white, dotted gold brown
2. Spike :: yellow hair
3. Tougher :: rope
4. Mock :: old poetry
5. Slurp :: sugar, green, cold, cheap cup
6. Knock :: wooden
7. Conference :: phones, tables, chairs
8. Madness :: crazy hair, women
9. Minds :: converging
10. Connection :: strings, reaching, grasping

And that’s that for the most recent mutters. :)

Word association game from Unconscious Mutters.

1. Detective :: Sherlock
2. Bangs :: loud sound beneath thick boots
3. Consultant :: suit, slick hair, and glasses
4. Puzzle :: cardboard
5. Learn :: chalkboard
6. Necklace :: collar bone
7. 184 :: number on a red semi
8. Stimulation :: kneecap
9. Layered :: one of those flaky pastries
10. Police :: blue uniforms

Awesome Nikka over at ‘The Life and Time of a Stitch Witch‘ has tagged me with the ABCs survey of me meme so here it goes. :)

A – Age: 20 (21 in two months.)
B – Bed size: Queen (It’s new!)
C – Chore you hate: Dishes. Obviously.
D – Dog’s name: N/A (Had one named Kitty though)
E – Essential start your day item: Laptop. Must check email before I can comprehend my day.
F – Favorite color: Oh, tough one. It’s between purple and green.
G – Gold or Silver: Silver.
H – Height: Not enough. Five one… if I’m lucky.
I – I am: A wife, novelist, web designer, weirdo.
J – Job: Writing and dishes (sad but true).
K – Kids: Do cats count?
L – Living arrangements: In a house.
M – Mom’s name: Ha, ha, ha. :)
N – Nicknames: Spirit
O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: None.
P – Pet Peeve: Idiots and child abusers. Sadly they’re not always the same thing though perhaps that’s a good thing since there seems to already be a large mass of both.
Q – Quote from a movie: None come to mine. Overall fave quote “Writing is the only socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” by E.L. Doctrow (possibly mispelled).
R – Right or left handed: Right.
T – Time you wake up: Every four or so hours.
U- Underwear: Who needs underwear? ;)
V – Vegetable you dislike: Cauliflower though I do eat it oddly enough.
W – Ways you run late: Forgetting to set the alarm.
X – X-rays you’ve had: Spine, right hip, both ankles, right calf, left toes, right shoulder, neck. Probably more than that but it’s hard to remember.
Y – Yummy food you make: Spinach pizza with mozzarella cheese.
Z – Zoo favorite: Lions!

And in return I tag the wonderful following people:

Xean (who needs to blog more!) at Xean-chan’s Writing Corner

Jessie of 58 Inches

Chibi of Chibi Doucet

LisaB of Dancing with Pens

Quill of Quill’s Place

Willow of The Ranting Willow

And  Esahc from Your Predator :)

Dedicated to Jo who unknowingly inspired me.

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I wonder about the paths I have taken, precisely how they have made me who I am. How one choice or another no matter how small has made me who I am.

I wonder about the perspective of the size of the universe. Let me explain this one. Think of a cell with it’s Nucleus and all it’s other parts. Then think about how millions of billions of cells can create a person. If that cell is like a tiny world than a person is like a universe. Like our cells lets say we make up our planet. This planet and all the other spinning rocks in our known universe are cells that make up the universe.

If our universe is expanding is that not unlike mitosis (gods I hope that’s the right word), the process where cells split and multiply? Could our one universe created by our once big bang (the start of the cell) be one among many other universes? Could we be part of one infinitely huge person and not know it? On the reverse end of things couldn’t our cells be like teeny tiny universes within us?

I wonder if I fit under the medical definition of insane. Seriously. If I told someone with some credentials about some of the things I think, see, hear, and believe- I wonder if they’d put me on medication or ask me when I would like to schedule my next appointment.

I wonder if I have a Doppelganger.

I wonder if humans really truly are the only sentient creatures on this planet.

I wonder how some people can do what they do. How can mother’s beat their children? Children leave their mothers? How can someone abandon one person for another? How is it that one person can’t stand to kill a spider while another would massacre an entire family? How can we stand to go to war an kill our own kind at all? How can we look at one nation or army as the enemy when they are the same as us? How can  we have persecuted one race over another? How is it we have survived this long as a whole when we are so divided within?

I wonder what happened to honor.

I wonder what’s so wrong with ‘sex’ is everywhere’. Finish reading before you kill me. People are constantly gibbering about sex in the media, sex on TV, sex in movies, sex on clothing, sex in advertising, sex in everything. Yeah, I know some people don’t want their children exposed to such advertising and I don’t blame them one darn bit (note: when I say sex I mean sex appeal) even if they aren’t showing body parts parents have a right to try and influence their children and keep them away from that stuff until they are old enough to understand- sadly not enough parents use this right.

Now, that aside- what is so wrong with sex appeal in the media? It’s a basic human function that both pleasurable and leads to the continuation of the race. If people in general would quit treating the concept like such a bad taboo thing then kids wouldn’t be into it half as much. What’s the fun in doing something everyone considers commonplace after all? Note I’m not talking about the act of sex itself but sex appeal, using women in bikinis to get teenagers to buy said bikinis because they think they’ll look like that or the the next slutty shirt because some girl on TV wore it and then suddenly had all these guys all over her. If we quit treating sex appeal like a bad thing it will quit being a bad thing. Instead of putting it down all the time we should be talking to today’s generation and explaining that while yes, getting the slutty shirt will bring guys to you but that it will bring the wrong kinds of guys to you and explaining to them what they should wear so they don’t look like one night stands. Or we should talk to them and explain why they aren’t old enough to need relationships, etc.

I wonder what it is that makes anime so awesome. :)

I wonder about a bird and his wings. Perhaps to the bird flight is viewed much like we view walking, sometimes tedious, sometimes exhilarating, sometimes it’s just a way from point A to point B, but since birds have feet and thus can walk too but rather fly I choose to believe the more romantic notion- it must be wonderful! I want to be a bird for a day, to spread my winds and stretch them far. To push them down against the air and feel my self propelled, to swoop and dive, and feel the air fighting against me or to bank into it. *sigh* So wonderful.

I wonder what famous authors think when others use their world to write fanfiction. I imagine I would be flattered but it’d be hard to say.

I wonder where my puppy Kitty is and if he’s alright. My mother gave him away nearly five years ago.

I wonder why I wonder certain things. There are many things I don’t have questions about but at the same time I don’t know the answers to the questions I could have. Why is it I question the things I do?

I wonder what it is precisely that helped certain great minds come to the science, philosophy, spiritual, and other stuff altering conclusions other than other people. What was it that made Einstein or Aristotle realize certain things before others? What was it that allowed them to understand or see past what everyone else considered the known universe?

I wonder about my past. So many questions and so few answers. Answers that have no questions and questions that can’t be put into words.

I wonder what people see when they look at me, when they speak to me, when I write to them.

I wonder why… a lot.

Yays! Wonderful Jo has tagged me for a meme. *big grin* I absolutely love these things and I love answering questions like this. It makes one really think.

I tag… well, anyone who wants it (*pointedly pokes Keiyou*) because I’m feeling lazy and making the links is a pain in the bum since my glasses are missing… er, well, more like misplaced but still, lol.

I am: a story unto myself that is constantly unfolding and being written beneath my feet as if my prints upon the sand were the words I live by.
I think: my brain works differently- more so than I am capable of understanding. Sometimes it’s like my thoughts and the way I see things stem from a different lobe than most people’s.
I know: it will all work out in the end.
I have: more passion than I often know what to do with and it can sometimes get me into trouble.
I wish: I could share my peace and comfort with those who need it most. I also wish, though this is a more selfish one, that I could show my wings to the few very close people who will have understood this comment.
I hate: hate. There are a handful of things I’d like to say I hate but I cannot. There is even a person I would like to say I hate, thought I am ashamed to admit it, but I refuse. To hate something would be to sink down to a level I am not willing to tread.
I miss: my most cherished memories, fleeting moments in time that are so very precious to me.
I fear: the loss of my loved ones.
I feel: constantly on the brink of great discovery.
I hear: tangled thoughts spinning webs between my ears, some meant to entrap me and others meant to set me free.
I smell: nothing. My nose is full of snot. Does snot have a scent?
I crave: safety. Every day feels like a day in the shoes of a foreigner, like I’m in a land of people who’s customs are so unlike my own. It often leaves me feeling unsteady and frightened.
I search: for the right questions to all my answers.
I wonder: about many, many things. For this alone I would have to make a post and a half just to scratch the surface.
I regret: nothing as all things I ‘could’ regret have brought me where I am today and I wouldn’t trade this moment in time for all the riches or knowledge in the realms.
I love: my Hunny, of course. :)
I ache: when I don’t watch the path my thoughts take too carefully.
I am not: who I once was before.
I believe: in what I believe because I have seen, and felt, and touched far too much not to.
I dance: when the words can’t come out fast enough or when the rain is pouring down from the sky with a thunderous appeal.
I sing: utter nonsense… *grin* …to the casual listener.
I cry: a little less with each bit of love I’m given to heal the places in my soul that once were broken.
I don’t always: listen to my own advice.
I fight: the universe from time to time but that’s all part of learning and growing inwards.
I write: and write, and write, and write, and write, and write, and write, and write, and write, and write… to infinity evermore.
I win: every time I am able to help another soul. It brings me great joy just to see someone else smile.
I lose: nothing I don’t willingly give. The universe is full of rewards if we are but willing to brave the rapids of life and go get them.
I never: say things I don’t mean. I’m much too lazy for such a meticulous hobby. Lies are like a knot around me, it’s difficult to remember where the string begins and ends let alone untie the mess without being caught.
I always: have hope.
I confuse: myself from time to time. :)
I listen: with my heart, for even when my hearing diminishes with age it is the ear that will never lead me astray.
I can usually be found: in the midst of weaving words.
I am scared: of an impending moment that I know will come no matter how hard I push fate. There is a chance this moment could break me if I am not given enough time to heal from all my other wounds.
I need: to remember my needs.
I am happy about: so much. Sometimes my newfound smile hurts because I’m unused to grinning so much.
I imagine: I am many people, in many places, with many pasts, presents, and purposes. I wear many faces, genders, and ages, and I walk many paths of life. Such is the awesome’ness of being a crafter of stories.

Thankies for this present of insight Jo. :)

I was tagged by Jo of ‘The Road Less Traveled’ for this random things about me meme. Hope you enjoy. :)

1. You know how some people like to dip their cookies in a glass or milk? I like to eat my apple and cinnamon granola bars the exact same way with a steaming hot cup of red tea. Preferably Madagascar Red or Pomegranate or even good old Red Rose. Mmmm. It really is a tasty treat though it may not sound like it.

2. I enjoy dressing up like some of my characters be it makeup, clothing, or hair style and color. Sometimes, but only when surrounded by strangers, I like to fall into one character or another’s persona and gauge how people will react to them based on first impressions. Recently I wanted a platinum white wig and purple contacts. :) It’s nothing too drastic mind you, I just like to be a little eccentric.

3. When I’m not wearing work cloths, PJ’s, or dressing up like some character or another- I like to wear long flowing dresses. Nothing fancy but I hate wearing jeans. I would live in long skirts and elegant shirts if I could or at least if Michigan were warmer. I just enjoy dressing up even if it’s just a sun dress.

4. My all time best friend was a tree named George.

5. I can write in three different alphabets that are no longer used today and that have never been mainstream in America. This is a self taught quality because I absolutely love languages and alphabets which in turn tie into world mythology. I love the origin or words, I love tracing back how slang words were created, and learning about how something has one meaning today had a completely opposite one only a few years prior.

6. I honestly believe in magick. :)

And now I pass this along to these six writer friends of mine, along with the rules:

Tagging Rules:
a. Link to the person who tagged you.
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

And I tag:

Just1More
Mr. Grudge
EasyWriter
Crazy Monkey
Crystalina
And Nature Nut

Mwahaha! I’ve decided to start a meme of my own just because I can. Sort of. It’s actually a writing exercise from this book I’ve been reading and I wanted to share it with the rest of you. Instead of tagging people though I’m just going to leave it open.

Write two lists. The first being about the first ten writing related fears that come to mind. They don’t have to be the ‘top’ ten, just whatever first comes to mind. Then write a list of the first ten joys related to writing that come to mind. Try not to over think as you write the list. You can go back and add notes and reasons later.

Ten of my fears about writing:

1. That my writing will reveal something about me that I won’t like. That somehow it will show me I’m a bad person or that I have serious issues.
2. That when others read my writing they might think some character or another is based off of me and that when something happens to them or they do something not so great that in some way I might be referring to myself.
3. That I might hurt someone with my writing. This is a relatively new fear as I write more and more non fiction.
4. That when I write non fiction somehow I might remember something wrong and unknowingly end up lying.
5. That I will die before I finish this one particular story/series that’s been stuck in my mind for years even though I’m so young right now.
6. That I will always be one of those people who constantly start projects but never finish them.
7. That I will write something very, very wrong or offensive. For example I couldn’t write about a people chopping other people up. It’s just disturbing, but then again, I’ve been known to unknowingly write other just as disturbing things.
8. Hearing someone read my writing aloud or having to read it out loud myself. This is more of a pet peeve. It makes me cringe in a way I can’t even begin to describe. I hate it and it brings out a whole new set of fears that I can only imagine at the time.
9. That I’ll sound boring when I go into stuff such as back story.
10. That someday I’ll get sick of writing or find some other reason to stop, even if it’s for a day. This is not a healthy idea for this little spirit. Trust me on this.

Ten of my joys about writing:

1. The intense pleasure I feel when a new story comes into mind or when I think of a whole new part of an already existing story. The feeling of creation.
2. Writing with my eyes closed. I could make a whole separate post about this. I love to type or scribble with my eyes closed. One usually works better than the other.
3. The rush I get when I’ve finished a small piece of writing, be it chapter or short story. I do wish I felt this more often though. It’s so wonderful.
4. The feeling I get when I finish something and I know it’s really good compared to my other work. I more or less like the feeling of being happy with myself, not precisely the fact that it’s good writing but that I can take pride in what I do now and then. Did that make sense? Let’s hope so, I think I typed myself into a circle.
5. The idea that some of my writing might be helping others. That somehow I’m giving back to everyone else who’s helped me in my own little way and that I am useful.
6. Going on adventures/quests and fighting that last battle in the end or learning that last lesson with my characters. The journeys I take when the pages start to pile up.
7. Getting to do so many things and be so many people. I can be a boy or genderless, I can have wings, or I can imagine what it’s like to be a politician (yeah right). I could live through an explosion or I can experience death and rebirth. I can experience anything.
8. Knowing the thoughts, feelings, and sins of my characters. Haven’t you ever wanted to be able to read someone else’s mind just for the sake of knowing how other think? Wondering what they do in there spare time or the things they’re not so proud of? I have. I love knowing everything about my characters.
9. When I get the courage to show someone my writing and they genuinely love it.
10. The fact that I had more trouble filling out my fears list rather than my joys list and given the time and the numbers I could easily write another fifty some joys.

Your turn. Leave a comment if you do this please, just because I’m curious. You don’t have to but it’s appreciate.

Mwaha! I feel a little silly at the moment. I was over as Easy Writer’s blog and she was talking about this cute little book meme that was an open invitation for anyone else who wanted to do it, instead of just tagging people. I went and made a comment and mentioned how I thought I was going to do it. Then I started to work on it and all of a sudden I had this feeling… I ran (via as fast as my mouse would let me) over to Quill’s Place wonderful blog and discovered that I’d already been tagged. Lol. :D I’m in a good mood today, hehehehe.

1. One book that changed your life:
In truth every book changes my life. Each pages takes me on a new adventure or journey in which I return a changed person with a new life’s lesson or experience even if it’s only in my mind. Sticks and stones will break my bones but words can shape my soul. Yes, that’s my quote. Yes, I just made it up. :)

Alas, if I ‘must’ pick ‘one’ book it would be Deerskin by Robin McKinley. If you read it and you’ve been reading me for awhile you’ll understand why it’s touched me. One word: Metamorphosis.

2. One book you have read more than once:
Windmill Summer by Hila Feil because have my childhood dreams were expressed within these pages and a part of me still yearns for that kind of lifestyle.

3. One book you would want on a dessert island:
I’m going to go ahead and barrow EW’s idea just because it rings true: A notebook to write in, preferably an endless notebook. ;)

4. Two books that made you laugh:
Hmm, I have to think about this… oooo I know! Eclipse, the last in the Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer. It made me laugh till I cried in parts but at the same time it made me angry with one of the other character’s to the point I scared my Hunny by scowling into the pages for the misdeeds done. I absolutely love it.

5. One book that made you cry:
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson.

I read the book long before it was a movie. It struck a lot of sore spots in my heart that made it impossible not to choke up a little. I’m sure there have been others but they don’t come to mind at the moment.

6. One book you wish you’d written:
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer just because I wish I could write like that, the style, the flow, the seamless putting together of plots and emotions all wrapped together in beautiful and well chosen words. *sigh* Or the above mentioned Deerskin.

7. One book you wish had never been written:
It’s not a particular book as it is a particular type of book. Certain romance novels where in the end the woman gives up everything and submits herself to the strong, powerful man just make me cringe. Or where the guy is helping her through some emotional difficulty but the only real improvements you see are after they have sex. This bothers me greatly. It wouldn’t bother me if there weren’t so MANY of these types of books. I’d be fine if there were just as many or almost as many romance novels that turned out oppositely, or if it didn’t feel like it was such a statement sometimes making young teens believe and fantasize that this is the way things are as I know some other girls my age do… grrr… okay. I’m ranting now. I’ll stop and save it for another post where I can pull out statistics and grumble fiercely.

8. Two books you’re reading:
The Tao of Writing by Ralph L. Wahlstrom and the Writer’s Book of Days by Judy Reeves.

9. One book you’re going to read:
One? How can I pick one? I want to read them all!

To barrow another idea from EW I would like to extend my tag to include anyone who wishes to do this. :)

I have been tagged for my very first meme by Berrylicious. I’m supposed to list 7 facts facts about myself. How hard can that be?

1. Like Berrylicious- I too suffer from a fear of water. To be specific, fear of water going over my head. I take showers and such (don’t worry) but I can’t face the water or let it run onto my face without freaking out.
2. I am very self conscious about my crooked teeth.
3. I love to sing songs with random words that can’t be found in the English language just because it feels good.
4. I recently considered dying my hair platinum white and getting purple contacts just to look like a character I had made up in my book.
5. I can’t wait to get gray hair.
6. Sometimes, late at night, I am afraid to look at the television while it’s off.
7. I can read/interpret Runic, Ogham, and Theban symbols.

And I tag (if they so chose to take up the offer) JJ Loch, Easy Writer, Jessie Carty, and Emily Widy.