The music in my ears is my shield.

The man in my heart is my balance.

Add that to each new breath I take

And I am invincible.

You have stolen my April.

You hid under the guise of innocent humor and pushed me back to a place I had no desire to be. You draped an irresistible bait before my eyes and then tripped me when I went for it, reopening new wounds with my predictable fall before rubbing salt in every torn bit of my being.

“Did you not hear me last time, darkness?”

You have risen from the depths of my heart and clawed your way into the light in some futile attempt to drag me back down again. You have stood before me and cackled and hissed, biting and snapping, clawing and reaching.

You act like we haven’t been through this before.

“Did you think I was going to go down easy?”

I’m laughing at you darkness for you are nothing without me. Where I stand you stand, when I fall you fall. You tear me open and rip tears from my eyes and I only fighter harder.

What you do unto me may it break you with three times the force.

You tear. You cry.

“Do you understand me, darkness?”

No longer will I let you push me over. No longer will I hold you dear. You are of me and for that purpose I must keep you in some respect but in the end I’m the one running this show and I won’t back down.

No longer will I fight with blood and bone and lightly thrown curses. No longer will I be bound to your weapons alone.

No. No more.

I will fight with heart and soul, with craft and passion, word and script for I am a writer and my arsenal is much better than yours.

“Perhaps I need to repeat myself?”

I am a writer and as my pen is my sword you’ve nothing on me, dear darkness, for I am full of words be they mental, spoken, or scribbled in your shadows with the last quick of my nails. They twist and twine about your form and no- they are not pretty petty words of pompous or insecure nature.

These are my words.

Words like; strangle, hold, bind. You harm me no longer.

My blade is sharp. My words sharper. The images they create are even sharper still. They cut and slice and dice and thrash any hold you may have had on me.

“I did not stutter, darkness.”

I am the writer and I control the darkness of my mind with the ink in my heart upon the pages of my soul. Fantasy, horror, romance. Fiction and non. Poetry, prose, and a sputter or two. I will tuck a little bit of you in each of my creations allowing my stories to tangle and weave through what was once your great power.

And you will be no more.

“Do you hear me darkness?”

Here is where I make my stand and I shan’t back down for I am the writer and you the illusion. You’re playing in my world now, only as real as I choose to make you.

“You are no more.”

Why?

Because I said so and my words are your laws. So be gone little figment and pray my pen is merciless should you choose to rise again.

I have spent today in fear. Jumping at ever little sound and keeping all the lights on. Why you might ask? Because someone has tried to make me cower. Someone has tried to force my hand and make me see the world through their corrupt eyes. Someone has threatened that which is most precious to me and I am here to tell you that I will stand for it no longer.

“Do you hear me darkness? No more.”

I take the path of peace not only because of my heart’s flow but because I am not equipped to stand up to you on my own or anyone for that matter but do you think that will stop me? Do you think because I am weak and my will often bends to my emotions that you can control me? Make me do as you please?

You must else you wouldn’t have tried this but no more. You cannot harm me. You will never harm me. I will not allow it.

“Do you hear me darkness?”

I have no weapons, no muscles, no power. My bark is often worse than my bite and since I seldom bark you may never be bitten but I can do something much worse than harm you in return. Yes, much worse than bringing myself down to your disgusting level.

I can stand up for myself. I can stand tall with my held high and though tears may stain my cheeks I will never falter.

“Do you hear me darkness? I have rendered you powerless.”

You can hurt me and the scars may last a thousand years but I will hold up the flesh of my heart to the rest of the world and shout “See?! These are the paths walked and the roads I’ve taken. These are the thorns I’ve suffered and the trials I have endured. These are my victories and though they have left me scared- I have gained the journey in making them and that is something the darkness will never have for the dark cannot bear scars.”

I can be scared and that gives me power for what scars me makes me stronger. Bend me, burn me, blight me, but in the end you will never break me.

“Do you hear me darkness? I accept you. I take you into the furthest reaches of my mind and hold you close to my heart because you no longer have power over me. From you I find my light. From my scars I learn and grow. From your threats I gain a force of will.”

I am not the child you once knew me to be. I neither cling to light in desperation nor do I fall into that place from whence you came. I am me and will fear you no longer. I have grown to accept all facets of life and the shadow world, it is all a part of me and I no longer harm myself- so you can no longer harm me in return.

“Do you hear me darkness?”

I have stood up to your deceptive words and they are no more. You are nothing, nothing at all. I am something. I am me. I can be scared and from it I can grow. I can become something more and for that I am better.

“Do you hear me darkness?”

You are nothing to me.

Be gone.

Part 2 can be found here.