Letter To Myself
March 7th, 2010
Sliver of a thought: If you could write a letter to your inner child what would it say?
Dear Me,
It’s all wrong isn’t it? It feels wrong but they all act like it’s right… You’re scared aren’t you? It feels so scary but they act like it’s perfectly safe. You don’t want to sit next to her but she’ll yell if you don’t… if you inch to the edge of your seat because you’re afraid to be in her reach… if you clasp the seat belt because we missed another stop sign on a quiet street.
Little girls shouldn’t be playing pool with old men in bars on school nights. Little girls shouldn’t be stealing money to buy something to eat. Little girls shouldn’t be left home alone… or blamed for what happens to their parents… or what their parents do.
You’re alone but you’re not. The trees talk to you and the rain sings you to sleep. Darkness caresses your cheek in the lonely night as silence screams in vain that something is missing. Can you feel it? Can you hear it? Can’t you make it stop?
Yes, yes, and no.
But you’ll try. Someday when you get the power. Someday when you get a taste of love. Someday when the loneliness becomes too much and then the abandoned will do the abandoning.
It’s a cruel cycle hell bent on continuing. Not through you but in the very air you breath- a phantom of the past dancing in every step you take. You’re still scared and it’s still wrong but now that you know what love is… now that you know what life is, it will be alright.
Prayers get answered, little one. No one will know it better than you. Not right away but your life will be a practice of patience- silently bidding your time until the world sweeps you off your feet. You’ll remember all the times you curled up in bed and tried to be unborn and then you were reborn. You’ll remember all the times you wished for a family and then you were gifted with more than you dared to hope for. You’ll remember all the times you wished to tell your story…
And then you’ll read this letter and know another prayer is in the process of being answered.
really interesting idea. i don’t think i’ve ever tried that one…wonder if it could help..hmm
The reading afterwards wasn’t particularly revealing, but the writing process was. I thought I had an idea of what would be on the page when I was done but as I threw myself into the mindset it kind of changed. It was a fun sort of exercise.