Gone
January 16th, 2010
Wrote this on the way to work while I was trying to wake up. I kept having some train of thought or another and it kept going -poof!- … but even thought I kept losing my thoughts I knew I was losing them. I’d be sitting there going ‘now what was I thinking about…’ but I’d never get it back. :)
I think as far as some of my longer poetry goes I’ve completely given up on punctuation. At least for the time being. It’s distracting and tend to pull me from the meaning between words. Also, I can’t seem to pick a title for this so for now I’ll settle on…
Gone
lost thoughts swimming strange
through murky waters
listlessly
broken echos drift
between walls intangible
slipping away
left open
a gaping hole
wondering
what was
And another little bit, because the rhyme-monger in me just cant seem to help it, that I came up with while at work is:
over fire – under thunder
prey of shadows – sewn asunder
- humanity -
It reminds me of a little riddle or something one of my characters might toy with on and off. :)
That definitely seems like a fun riddle :) I’m a big fan of using the end of the line as it’s own punctuation
Hmm, that’s an interesting way to go via the punctuation. I have to admit I love the style a lot of your poetry flows in. I’m still learning where it feels right to end lines but things are starting to come together little by little.
One of my characters is a huge fan of throwing riddles into his conversations. He doesn’t like to say anything simply because he claims he doesn’t like to meddle- a total lie. He then likes to answer his own riddles later on when no one is listening and he’s busy angsting over the mistakes others make despite his ‘hints.’ He’s an odd sort of character thrown in as a cross between mentor and comic relief. :)