Written Whispers

So, I’m back. I had a great little trip and despite it I’ve decided to never ride in any kind of vehicle with my sister- Cat, and her husband ever again! It’s not that he’s a bad driver. No, not at all. It’s more that they’re both very vocal and argumentative people, which I’m sure explains why they fell in love in the first place. They constantly acted like each car held a terrible driver, cursing them out and then explaining to my poor frazzled nerves how they could have killed us.

The irony of this situation?

I have a borderline phobia of riding in cars that includes much flinching, a straight back, teeth grinding, and eventually just squeezing my eyes closed and hoping it will all go away. It didn’t much help things that my sister had to go and tell me they’d disabled the air bags- oh, and did I mention there were no back seats?

Yes. My nerves are shot. Thankfully on the ride back I not only had my MP3 player cranked to the nines but I also had some very nice sleeping pills. They may not have knocked me out but it’s my understanding that not only was I very entertaining but I was also very ‘mellow.’

All that jazz aside it really was a great visit. No asthma attacks or fighting. It really was great to get out of the house and see everyone- especially now that the snow’s falling and work’s picked up (i.e. I probably won’t be able to visit again until Spring). Some bad news though…

I forgot my glasses.

Glasses I need.

Really, really need.

I don’t use them at the computer because I get this weird sort of headache and I can go and just turn the font up anyways but for things like work, my appointments (I have one tomorrow), READING ANYTHING that’s not on the computer. Yeah. Not good. I’m hoping I can convince sis to bring them up to TC- the half way point in the four hour drive it takes to get from here to there and back again, sometime for me.

On another topic, I’m feeling a bit anxious right now. I don’t know if it’s my usual random anxious that’s part of the PTSD junk or if it’s just because I know I start with the new therapist tomorrow. Maybe it’s both, either way despite how tired I am I feel jittery enough to run a marathon. My brain has this huge file system for different self tortures and right now it’s rather keen on pulling up useless fretting and a few perfectly illogical tragedies to worry about.

It’s just peachy.

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Some people think it’s all in my head. Some people think there really is wrong with me. What do I think? I think there is something wrong with me and it’s in my head!

I’m feeling a very literal urge to bang my head against something. That and the above aside I think I’m in a pretty good mood. It’s hard to tell sometimes but I guess I feel good. I’m sooooo glad to be home. I missed my Hubby so much even though I was only gone for a couple of days.

My thoughts are jumbled. I’ll probably post again in a few hours- hopefully catch up on some blog reading now that I can’t read books (until I get my glasses back- funny how my Hubby finds his ((gone for 6 months)) right when I lose mine). :) Night.

New word of the day: Conflubercated [con-floob-er-kate-ed]

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 17th, 2009 at 7:40 am and is filed under Really Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.