Dream Diary 2 – The Wishing Brat

This dream isn’t as detailed or clear as the one before it so bear with the writing, okay?

So, my dream was all about this little girl. I can’t really remember what she looked like only that when in the dream it was revealed to me she was only six I thought she seemed a lot older but then as I watched the dream unfold she seemed to get younger by each scene.

She in this place that looked like a old fashioned train car on outside but when you stepped inside it was like a really small trailer home- outside was pretty much like a trailer park but all the trailers looked like old box cars (train cars). She lived with her mother- another vague person whose presence is hardly there, and an old balding man with grey hair who might be her grandfather. There were also brief flashes of this boy she seemed to like who looked like what I imagine my husband to have when he was younger but I think he was the little girl’s imaginary friend- or maybe it was my Hubby coming into my dreams to protect me like I asked him to.

The dream starts off and she looks to be about 16 and she has this magical power- I’ve no clue where she obtained it, where she’s able to wish for anything she wants and obtain it without consequence. You know how in some stories you make a wish and it has repercussions- these ones didn’t really.

I don’t know a lot of what she wished for but at the point my dream started her ‘family,’ the mom and the older man, were angry at her because she kept wishing for things. She wished for huge changes in the world and anything that was convenient for her.

Her biggest wish, the one my dream focused on, was that kids her age (this is when some little narrating voice in the dream told me she was six) could live completely independent from anybody if they wanted to. She wished it and so it was granted.

I see her walking the city streets at night now, she’s wandering, reading all the signs and looking for a place to sleep. This is about the time she slowly looks younger to me, right now she probably looks about 13. Because kids her age are able to live independently she sees a lot of signs like ‘cribs for rent’ and ‘youth beds available.’

She walks into all these places that look an awful lot like seedy motels you’d see in some of the worst places and she’d walk into all of them, examine the bed made for a child and decide she didn’t like it. She walked into several of these rooms in dark and dirty places ran by hookers and men of ill intent and she’d look at the bed and that would be the deciding factor of whether or not she would stay.

Each time she left. For all her power to wish- she didn’t know quite what she was looking for, only that none of the beds in the places she saw met up to what she desired. Finally one of the women of the streets showing her the rooms said she’d rent out one of her own rooms to her. Curious and desperately tired the girl followed her to a messy, trailer of a house.

In the room there were two small beds, one with a little girl- the woman’s daughter already in it, and another, even smaller bed, in the corner. It was just a piece of a mattress on an old springy cot and a ratty blanket that smelled funny but she paid her rent, curled up in the bed and fell right to sleep.

When she wakes up she looks like she’s 8 years old maybe. She goes back to her old home for a visit and her family members are only talking to her because they’re afraid she’ll wish some harm upon them, the sad part is it doesn’t look like they missed her at all. She hangs around for awhile, just watching how they live and it’s like she doesn’t know how to be a normal person anymore. She doesn’t understand why they use their old crappy stove when she could just wish them up a new one. She does wish up a new one but it’s the same model- a little dirty too. It’s better but her mind says it’s still crap.

Plains bank harshly over the house, looking each time like they’re going to crash, and cars come flying out of the sky- hitting the ground like meteors. She can’t understand why they don’t move or wish the magnet in the ground away. She wishes it about and rights the planes but it’s not good enough because now there’s this river overflowing on both sides of the house. She wishes the terrain better and works hard with several more wishes to redirect the flow. With each wish she’s looking younger.

Sitting down for a moment and looking back up at the stove she realizes something. She’s been wishing for second rate this whole time. True, her wishes never had consequences- so, why didn’t she wish for the best? Why didn’t she wish that when kids her age could live independently that they could live in a perfectly safe and warm place all the time? When she wished for the rivers redirected why didn’t she wish them to just be the way they needed instead of using so many different wishes to do the job? When she wished for the stove why didn’t she just wish for a brand new stove instead of a ‘better’ one?

She comes to the conclusion that it’s her families fault. She doesn’t blame them but she sees that it’s because they’ve raised her in ‘this hovel,’ as she puts it, that she doesn’t know what good stuff is. No one ever taught her.

How can she wish for happiness when no one ever taught her to ask for happiness? How can you want first class when you’ve been expecting second rate all your life?

She’s 6 years old again and she’s given up on wishing. She just sits in her home everyday watching everything go by. Her mom person and the older guy are happy she stopped wishing and have resumed going on about their everyday lives but she’s still not happy. She was happy when she had the hope that all her wishes could bring her happiness but she wasn’t happy before and she isn’t happy after now that she’s seen she has nothing more to hope for.

And the dream ends there- her imaginary friend (the younger version of my Hubby) comes to sit with her on a bench, they watch the green grass and a butterfly go by.

I think this dream means many different things but I’m not of the mood to share them. Mayhaps I’ll come back to it but I’m uncertain. This one touches a lot of different heart stings- some I understand and some I don’t.

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