Written Whispers

[Note: I've just gotten back from seeing my family. I'll be catching up on comments, email, and all that other jazz in just a few hours.]

I’ve come to a conclusion or two.

Tentative as a bridge built from straw but built with years upon years and with mortar of my heart. It’s strength now depends on mine.

I am a strange person in so many different senses of the word- so much so that I seldom surprise myself anymore with the thoughts and theories that come into my head. My beliefs, philosophy, dreams- all of it, it’s just a bit more different than what you hear about more often than not.

My first conclusion is only the tip of the ice berg- that the traditions of this world need to be rewritten. Everything. It all just needs a new bingeing. Our economic system needs revising, our school system needs a fresh start as something better equipped at teaching, and the foster system totally needs to be torn down like a phoenix before it is to be born anew! Perhaps just tear it down and create something new.

These aren’t really new thoughts on my part, just examples. What’s on my mind is a little more fragile and hard to rewrite in the eyes of others.

It’s the way we look at love.

Years ago it was ‘wrong’ to love people of a different race or faith than your own.

Years ago it was ‘wrong’ to love someone of your same gender.

Years ago it was ‘wrong’ to love anyone in any way that wasn’t the mainstream.

We’ve come so far in such a short time- true, it’s years, but we are a young race in the span of things on this planet and a hundred some years is hardly anything to scoff at.

What I’m getting at is that I’ve started to ask myself, and a few others, to take what is wrong and right in the eyes of love just a step more. I don’t even know how to begin to explain it… well, I do, but I can’t just yet make myself come out and say it. Perhaps that’s what needs to happen?

Yeah.

My second conclusion is that my heart is big thing. When… hmm. Damn, the words still won’t come. Is it because this isn’t the right time? Or because I do not know my own heart? No. That’s not it, I don’t trust my heart in my own hands.

I love a lot. I love so much.

*sigh*