Remember Who You Wanted To Be?

suggested by Blogletting.com

“My neighbor has a bumper sticker that reads: “Remember Who You Wanted To Be”. Did you grow up to be who you always wanted to be as a child?”

To be honest? I’m not exactly sure I ever seriously wanted to be anything when I was growing up. Actually, I’m still growing up so let’s just say- when I was little.

I do remember, very vaguely, my bio mother telling me once that I told her I wanted to be a ‘Vegetarian’ when I grew up when instead I meant ‘Vertrinarian’ which by the way is a job I would be absolutely horrible at. How do I know this?

A few years ago I job shadowed at a Veterinary clinic, it was mandatory for my life skills class which in turn was mandatory for aging out of foster care (something I ended up not needing to worry so much about in the end). Overall it was a fun and educational experience but it’s not something I would ever want to do. I remember having to watch while they sedated this cat who had a huge tumor on his neck and not only do I not have a stomach for that sort of thing… you have to have a sort of detachment towards the creatures you’re working with and I just can’t do that.

Have you ever taken you pet to the vet and thought that they acted a little cold? This is because if they were their emotions on their sleeves they’re likely to let them get in the way of their job. I can detach when I need to but it’s not something I can continuously make myself do. In my head I need to go full force forward with emotions and use them as a guide and while that works for a lot of things… the medical field, of any sort, isn’t one of them.

So, what else did I want to be while I was growing up?

Well, a few years ago I used to tell everyone I wanted to be president just to see what they would say but that was never very serious.

I’ve always wanted to be an activist of one sort or another but that’s seldom a job in and of itself.

My bio mother wanted me to be an artist and during my last years of middle school I used to tell everyone I wanted to be a graphic designer but then I discovered that I really don’t like drawing when it’s something I ‘have’ to do.

I look back now on all the different things I’ve thought about being when I was a little kid but the thing is- they were really never things that ‘I’ thought up. They were always things suggested to me, half-hearts, or influenced by another. I don’t really think I ever honestly wanted to be anything. When I was that age, any age before a few years ago, I never really thought I was going live long enough to call myself a grown up and for a lot of the time- that was a pretty true assessment.

Nowadays? Things are a lot different. I have so many options now, so many things I ‘want’ to be it’s almost overwhelming.

Who am I kidding?

It ‘is’ overwhelming!

But I love it so it’s okay. :)

Mind Bumping

I love this one site I recently found. I can’t tell you how I found it, that has long since escaped my memory but ‘what’ I found is definitely stuck with me. It’s this awesome thing called MindBump. You can click to read all about it cause I’m not feeling like explaining right now- maybe later.

I decided to try a few out.

suggested by Egyptian Home
“What is your single greatest weaknesses when it comes to blog writing, and how are you planning on improving it?”

My long but occasional hiatuses. I’ve never managed to blog every day straight for a long period of time and by no means do I think I need to- I make up for it in my own way by occasionally posting like four times in a day and then saving them for later. One thing I do hate however is my tendency to drop off the blogosphere totally for weeks at a time. During that time I’m still writing I’m just not posting and it takes me forever to get back into the swing of things and let all my usual commenters know that I’m still alive. It’s a pain!

How do I plan to fix it? I don’t. It’s a terrible habit as far as blogging goes but I have my own reasons for doing it. I may not like it and it may cost me a lost of traffic but it’s when I start trying to force the writing that bad things will happen.

suggested by The Occasional Editorialist

“If you were limited to having only one electrical outlet in your home, what device would you plug into it?”

If I was home along: My laptop. Without a doubt. It’s my complete entertainment center (music, reading, writing, a source of light if I need it) and main mode of communication with others.

If we were all home: A lamp. We’re night people when we all get together and with a light we can see enough to read, play card games, whatever.

Just my Hubby and I: Who needs electricity?

Another Good Song

(Warning: This post was obviously written when I was running on little to no sleep. Severe randomness ahead.)

With the wind in my heart and the sun in my shoes
I’ll walk on the beach and swim on the moon.

#&$% your reality. Mine is more fun.

~Me~

How’s that for poetry? :) Lol, no. I know. I’m not even trying. Just killing time between… hmm, I forgot. No, wait. I remember now. I’m waiting for this song in my headphones to end so I can go to bed. I’m really tired but it’s a good song and if I only listen halfway through it’s going to drive me batty.

Song’s over.

Night.

Dang it!

Another good song.

I’m so weak.

I should just turn it off but I don’t have to be anywhere and I am comfy… I blame my mp3 player for being filled with all the songs I’m loving right now. :) Alright, that might be my fault too but I’m not going to admit it right now. That and I’m having a bit of fun writing randomly like this. I think I’m going to wait till I wake up to post this one though cause… oh, who the hell cares?

You know what I just realized? I have a mental potty mouth when I’m tired. By that I mean I curse more in my writing when I should really be sleeping. I wonder if it’s because the lack of rest changes the inhibitions. Hmm. It’s a curious thought but I don’t believe curse words are stored in that precise part of the brain else people with… oh, never mind. I have a bunch of intelligent thoughts in me right now but I’m feeling kind of on the lazy side so they’re just going to stay right where they are to be lost after my dreams. :)

Another good song. Mwahaha.

Ah, book editing is going nicely. One or two more days and I’ll officially have enough to be willing to send some chapters to two of my friends who have awesomely offered to help me with the line editing process. They rock so much.

Crap. I just remembered what I was working on like five hours ago and got distracted from. Dang it. I was supposed to do something, well not ‘supposed’ to but it’s something I told myself I was going to do which meant I should have done it but oh, well. I’ll work on it a little later. *adds it to my to-do list*

I actually have a to-do list now. I downloaded a program to help me manage all my tasks. I have a couple of lists that pop up at various times. Reminding me of my writerly goals, codes for sites I wanted to look up, social responsibilities, and a few other things that are probably more important but that I tend to forget more often than not. It’s pretty cool.

Ooo, I like this song too! Mwah!

You know, purple hair is very distracting if you’re not used to it. I keep seeing a few strands out the corner of my eyes and I’m like ‘Oh, what’s that?’ and turning my head and following it. I feel silly but that’s alright, it’s me and I’m quite happy and content with that.

You know what else? This is actually the forth post I’ve written this morning. I’ve only posted one of the other ones right now cause I want to refine my thoughts on the other two so the points I poured my soul out to make actually make a little bit of sense to those of you who don’t speak Feebish (what’s Feebish? Skim this post and you’ll get a general idea).

One more song and then I’m out. Tired, tired, tired. What I wouldn’t do for coffee… or rather the ability to drink coffee or anything caffeinated for that matter. It doesn’t matter how many months I’ve gone without the stuff I’m still craving it. Lol.

Another good song but it can wait. I can actually lie down and listen to the rest of these. Nighty night.

(Forgive me if I imploded your mind with my randomness. It was late, I was tired and running on the last dregs of a sugar high. I even contemplated not posting this but then I decided I’d spent the time writing it so I might as well do something with it.0