Little Bauble
December 17th, 2008
A memory is working it’s way up through the depth of my soul. I want to write it. I want to share it. Even though it is tinted grey it’s a beautiful little bauble that deserves to be let out -but- I’m afraid.
I’m afraid if I do share it, nay, if I even begin to put the pen to paper or the fingers to the keys that it’ll hurt and I’ll fall back into that time and place. That I’ll lose this new sight of mine to see it as a bauble instead of… something much different. I want to keep my objectivity, my distance, the past is in the past after all but- I’m afraid I won’t be able to do that.
Still, this desire to share isn’t abating.
Hmm.
I want to write about the three days I spent in a detention home after one of my runaways. The… experience… was much more pleasant than my stay in foster care which in the end is what makes it so sad, that I’d rather have all my physical freedoms taken away than go back to the place I was. I don’t even know why I suddenly want to share this but I do. It just hit me like ten minutes ago. Maybe it will pass.
You should definitely try to write it down!
One of the best things I did back in 06 and 07 was get a lot of that stuff out onto paper. Even if it doesn’t turn into an essay, story, poem etc you get it out of your system and it helps you move forward with new writing.
Trust me it does!
Jessie: I think you’re right, a whole day has passed and I’m still feeling the urge so I’m probably going to have to whether I want to or not. Not sure I going to do it tonight, but I think I’m going to do it within the next couple of days. Thank you!