Written Whispers

I found this thread in the NaNo forums for people to make and post their desktop wallpaper/calendars for the month. Some of them were so awesome I had to try my hand at making some. Please feel free to use and enjoy.

This first one is the original, turned out a little darker than intended in some spots and lighter in others but I love it. That’s the original image in the center without any tweaking. I found it on yahoo and snagged it.

Numbers go from left to write, the original is the first one in the pile.

Original) I really recommend reading the little squares. A few are based on inside jokes but I don’t doubt for a second that you’ll still find them all pretty funny. I wish some of my graphics came out better but I forgot to change some settings before I did the final save and layer change.

1.) I made this one because I have a preference towards blue over red (actually I like greens and purples but neither of those came out half as nicely). I still should have lightened it up but I love how the paws turned out.

2.) This is the same as the red one but smaller and in a different format for those who need it. The quality really went down.

3.) Same as above.

4.) These next two are ‘inked’ or done like in a pen or cartoon format. I really like how these two turned out.

5.) Another blue one and that’s it, well, it’s more purple’ ish but yeah.

Uhg… today has been terribly long and let’s face it- bland.

Nothing really happened at work. I went in, washed, waited, washed some more. Rinse and repeat through out the whole night. It’s one thing when we have a busy night, heck I would have loved to be swamped in comparison, or when we have a really slow night where I can sneak off with a good book in a snack but nights like this really suck. Too slow to make it go by quickly but just steady enough that every time I finish with something another ‘one’ rack of dishes comes in.

If I had any real perception of time I would have said it literally took forever but goodness knows I don’t have the attention span for those sort of things. So, I spent most of the night randomly walking around even though I had work to do and then coming back when there was enough to keep me entertained.

One good thing I can say that happened was one of the girls I work with, a busser just a year and a few months younger than myself, said she might be interested in joining my writing group. *does a tired happy dance* Other than that I think the only way I made it through today without screaming was because I spent most of it playing my stories in my head. Funny how watching people in my head run around acting out my plots is what kept me sane.

I wish winter time wasn’t nearing. I mean, I know it’s all part of the wheel of the year, the time before rebirth and renewal and without winter… global warming would seem like the least of our problems. Anyways, yeah, this little spirit isn’t very fond of winter, at least not in Michigan. This is going to make me sound older than it should but the cold makes my bones hurt, especially my hip and back because of the Scoliosis amongst other things. Lately though right above my knee has been giving me some serious pain. I’m not going to do anything about it of course because aches and pains are fairly normal and unless I see some blood I’m not going to worry about it but it’s really annoying and kind of pulses now and then. I wish it would stop.

I’m tired. This must be like the third time I’ve said it in this post but… whatever. It’s my post so- *sticks tongue out at anyone who looks at me funny*. Between work, school, NaNo, and some personal issues that just won’t go away, I’m feeling mighty drained. I wish everything would stop hurting.

Reminds me, here’s an overdue update for those of you who’ve been worried. I finally went to a doctor about my asthma some weeks back. I’d gotten a really bad cold and after three days of struggling to breath my husband was either going to call an ambulance or I could willing walk into a hospital on my own. I opted for the second choice, naturally.

Went in, got tested, found I didn’t have asthma. Er, normal asthma so to speak. See, I have (on top of everything else) a big problem with stomach acid. A few years ago it got to the point where I had to be constantly checked for ulcers, a big pain in more ways than one. Anyways, turns out my I have so much stomach acid that it’s burning up my lungs (yeah, that confused me too but trust me when I say you don’t want to know how that works) and causing asthma ‘like’ symptoms. So, now I’m back on some pills and I have to watch what I eat and most especially my stress levels.

Funny. I stink at taking pills, I’m trying to gain weight eating all the things I’m not supposed to eat now, and stress? I rest my case.

In other news…

The writing group idea is going well. I’m still on the edge as to whether or not I’m willing to commit myself and take up the responsibility but the planning in general feels nice. I’ve decided that if I do go through with this I’m not starting until January, and that’s the earliest just because November is already taken and December is dedicated to recuperating.

Guess what? I turn 20 this December. *runs in a mental circle since I’m too tired to imagine running a real one* I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself. I feel like I should feel something more on the topic but to be honest I didn’t remember it was coming up until today.

I’m not feeling very inspired to write something good. I just wanted to make a post because if I don’t my head might explode. I think the main reason I’m tired, aside from all that other junk listed above- mostly written so I can get to the heart of the matter without too harsh a transition, is because of a letter I got the other day. Actually, I cringe at calling a message I got on ‘myspace’ a letter.

To be honest I should have known better than to start another account. I started one a year ago for one of my sites but a relative found me on it and sent messages to people on my buddy list to get them to contact me. So, I left them a very rude and poorly spelled message on my profile. A few months ago I deleted and started a new one under my married name so I could send messages back and forth to my new family in laws.

I made it private, security settings all the way up, and only accepted friend requests from people I knew. Well, as the saying goes: all good things must come to an end eventually. May I mention before I continue that this one person had blissfully fallen off the face of the earth for about a year aside from the occasional blip here and there when someone runs up to me and says ‘hey, so and so was looking for you’.

She contacted someone on my buddy list, a girl she was familiar with, and had her write me. The message went along the lines of telling me that my grandpa’s house burnt down and that if I wanted the information needed to contact him I’d have to contact her. That’s really low, now I’ll admit the girl may have gotten what she said wrong or just wrote it in a really bad way but to be honest- I don’t give a darn either way. I have ways of finding out where my grandpa is and while I do intend to find him and make sure everything is alright part of me thinks something sounds awfully fishy about that story. My grandpa lives in an apartment complex for the elderly, it’s not an old folks home, it’s sort of like assisted living. Something just grooves against my thoughts on this one.

Anyways, I spent the entire night after the message laying in bed and trying not to let me brain betray me. I don’t know why I just couldn’t come out and say it at the beginning of the post but I had this constant thought popping in my head- a vision of sorts, of my ‘mother’ showing up the next time I was at the bookstore and literally clawing up the side of my face. I wonder what this says about my psyche or subconscious or whatever.

Either way I’m much too tired to contemplate it and all that jazz. I have no insight on the matter whatsoever so I’m going to spell check this real quick and go to bed. I don’t know why it took me so long to get to the point or why I even bothered to just call her a ‘relative’ until the end. I guessers I’m just so sick and tired of watching my back, guarding my name, or keeping track of her to make sure she isn’t going to show up at my house someday. Why can’t she just leave me alone? Hasn’t she done enough already? I don’t want her to make it better I just want to live my life- without her in it. She has no desire to make up, no desire to apologize. In her mind she has done nothing wrong and I’m the one who has committed some sort of great sin. In her mind I have become the new demon child. First it was one sibling, then the other as he too sought out safety, and now me.

I’m starting to rant. I think I’ll stop and put this away before I upset myself since this is actually a really good day. Now that it’s out of my system I feel… well, not better, but like I might sleep fairly well tonight.

Peace.

PS. I’ll catch up on comments and reading later. Tonight is for me.

Alright, I’ve made my decision. I’m going to try.

No clue what I’m talking about? You’re not alone. :)

I’ve always had this philosophy about things, though I seldom acknowledge until I need it, that if I want something and I can’t find it anywhere- I should make it. At work I affectionately call this spot of thought "Don’t see a pile? Make a pile." Meaning if you can’t find a place for whatever weird cooking utensil that is then make a place for it. Can’t find what you want in any store? Make it. Can’t find the perfect internet hangout for people with your interests? Make one. That’s what I did with my community site.

There are no writing groups in my area. I’ve looked, and looked, and looked but still found nothing. No, I take that back. I found several groups… online, downstate, upstate, and one just near enough I’d consider going to it if they didn’t require such a stupendous subscription fee that I wouldn’t pay even if I could afford it.

So, since I can’t find one I’m going to start my own. Er… try. I’m going to try to start my own writing group.

It’ll be a lot of responsibility, people might not show up, it could turn into a big chaotic fiasco, or I could just flat out fail miserably but I’m still going to try because for all I know I could start something great. It’s true, I’ve never even been to a writers group. In fact, unless you count the kickoff for the NaNoWriMo coming up (I’ll explain further down) I’ve never met another writer other than the one I live with and those who dare to bless me with their presence online. Even still- my lack of knowledge on the matter doesn’t make things worse in my eyes. In fact it makes then better, this way I am like a blank sheet of paper, coming into a new experience without any preconceptions or notions of what ‘should’ happen. This way- I will learn from what happens rather than what others say will happen and in my opinion that’s a valuable way to go about things.

I’m going to wait till after the first NaNoWriMo get together before I make any decisions on the matter- this way I’ll know what it’s like to get together with strangers who have something in common with me. That and if I decide to do this I’ll already have a way to connect with others from my area and ask if they want to come. :)

About that…

I’m so happy right now. Since the beginning of October I’ve been trying to put together a NaNoWriMo get together in my area. There wasn’t one last year but this year, thanks in no small part to my persistence and I’m proud to admit that, we have ten to fifteen people who’ll be coming up to the bookstore on various days. Many of them will be showing up there with me on the first day to celebrate the NaNoWriMo and all things writerly.

I’ve spent the past few days practically living in chat and speaking to all these people from my area who never in all their past years of doing the NaNo had a chance to get together with others because there were no get togethers for them to go to! I’m really starting to feel like this is going to work and if I can manage this, if I have it in me to organize one spontaneous little meeting in less than a month… what else am I capable of?

It boggles the mind! Well, alright, it might just boggle my mind but I like boggle, both the word and the game so I suppose it suits me.

I’ve found something out that not only boggles (yes, I’m growing attached to the word) my mind further but makes me exceptionally happy with myself. See, I am not a social creature, no matter what direction you look at me from. Groups of people make me cringe internally, speaking to those I haven’t known more than a year frightens me, and I just don’t do loud… anything. Yet, when it comes to getting a bunch of strangers together in a room and getting them to open up to one another and have a good time- I seem to be quite adept even though I’m still internally freaking out.

It’s been pointed out to me several times on my community site and when I bring together different groups of friends to meet for the first time. It’s been pointed out in chat and how when I leave sometimes everyone else goes quiet for a little bit. I feel… happy over this. :) Like I’m good at bringing people together and it makes me smile.

Still, I’m very unsure. Tomorrow’s going to be like a test run for me though. I’m going to the bookstore with my sis, Kei, and we’re (hopefully) going to meet with one of the WriMo’s that’ll be coming to our November first thing to discuss writing and how we might make the who gathering go a little smoother. This isn’t the first person I’ve gone off to meet someone I’ve met online (though it’s the first time I’m going to meet them after only speaking to them for a day) and it probably won’t be the last. Fortunately I’m not stupid. My husband is going to be there during the beginning, my sis the entire time, and we’ll all be in the nice public bookstore where all the staff know me by name and favorite isle to spend hours in so I’m not terribly worried about the whole online bit. I am worried about my social skills though, so, like I said. This is going to be a test. I’ll make it through tomorrow and I’ll make it through the meeting on the first. If I can do that and I still feel confident about this whole writer’s group thing then I’ll go forward with that first foot on the path and see where it takes me.

I figure if all goes well and I get this thing off on the right foot I could host meetings once a month, though all those I’ve suggested it to would prefer bi-weekly meetings incase they can’t make one. I suppose I can do bi-weekly, goodness know I can shift my work schedule to it but I have to figure out if I’m ready to do it that often or not. I already have two places in mind where I know I can hold them at though I have to check on the specifics, one is the bookstore and the second would be to ask a friend of mine up at work how I go about getting them to let me use one of the meeting rooms at the resort but the drive to me is a little out of the way and I’d rather the bookstore because 1. I don’t work there, 2. more people live near there, and 3. I’m always up there anyways.

Anyways, we meet whenever. Finding people is no trouble at all. We could get together for an hour or two, set aside time to talk about whatever, talk about writing, set aside a few minutes to write together, set aside some time to share if we feel like it and wing the rest. Or heck, wing it all, though I do intend on having some sort of battle plan just because I can. :) I figure I can bring snacks, easily, the first few times and maybe encourage the others to do the same later on once we know each other a little more.

What do you think? Someone please give me some feedback. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I know I might be getting myself into something crazy but I really want to give it a try.

Hello all! *waves* Sorry, I know it’s been a few days but I’ve been pretty sore lately with my back and all besides- the NaNo is coming up. How can I not be running around like a chicken with my head cut off? And enjoying it of course. :D

The NaNo chat room is turning out wonderfully! Took a tiny while to pick up but I’ve been in it a lot these past few days talking to other writers and having a great time getting to know them. Makes me a little sad though when I login and find out I’ve missed some of them but I can’t be in there all the time so hopefully I’ll catch them one of these times.

I’ve found two fellow NaNo’ers in my area (one really close by) who I know I’ll be meeting for sure this next month, the others… are a little more uncertain. A lot of them can’t come around till the end of the month which is alright but I was hoping to find a day we could all get together as a group. Oh, well though, we’ll figure it out in the end or I hope we will.

I’ve been thinking about an idea for the past six months or so… See, there aren’t any actual non-online writing groups in my area. Yeah, we have them in Michigan but they’re all down and upstate, the closest one costs a subscription fee of… well, let’s just say I wouldn’t pay it even if I could afford it. Anyways, I’ve been thinking about organizing my own writing group. I know if I really set my mind to it I could do it but- I don’t know. I’m still unsure of taking that final step and trying it out. I mean, if I try and it fails then either I learned one way not to go about it or I learn it’s not for me but either way it’s better not trying at all and possibly missing out on something good.

We’ll see. Any of you out there attend a writing group? Want to tell me about it? Please?

Today was pretty awesome. Picked up a friend of mind and hung out doing nothing in particular for several hours before her, Kei, and I went for a walk through the woods up to the Cemetery. I told them it was going to get dark before we got there and I was right too (!) but it’s alright because I had a flashlight with me so we walked around, in the black of night, reading gravestones and singing to the stars. It was wonderful!

Even better- we didn’t have to walk back. When we were done basking in the peace, the night, and the wilderness I called my mom-in-law and she came to get us. I was half asleep before we even got home so all in all it was a pretty awesome night. I brought my camera but I didn’t get any pictures because it was too dark and my batteries were still pretty low from our last excursion.

That reminds me (yes, this is going to be one of those random posts where I spring from topic to topic like a crazy lady) I made a photo video from all my recent wild life drives. It still needs a bit of clean up but I’m going to be putting it up here soon as well as a couple of other mini vids from this awesome scenic place I went to with Hunny the other day.

… This post has taken me like three days to write. My brain is all foggy and preoccupied so I’m just gonna leave it here and post it. :) Tomorrow I’m going to the museum. I’ll make a better post then.