Un-hiding a Path

[Note: Will be doing comments tonight, might nap first.]

I have had a moment of clarity. though brief and fleeting I think there was just enough power in it that it may have changed where I’m heading in life.

A few months ago, just after November and the NaNoWriMo, I started looking into Norse myths because I had somehow subconsciously weaved what I knew of them into my story. It was a wonderful moment when I discovered this and I immediate set out and started to do some research, looking further into Norse mythology and history (neither I’m a novice at). It was fun and had a great effect on my whole story writing experience and helped to shape my story with new ideas and old concepts. Truly wonderful all around.

A month or so later I had an idea for a story I have yet to begin. It’s in the ‘if I get sudden inspiration and time’ pile for now. It tied into all the different mythos I’ve read about the moon and sun, mostly the moon me being primarily a Wiccan for the longest time. Lots of Celtic and Egyptian concepts all tied together in ways so small that only a historian or another person with great interest in mythology would be able to pin point.

Now I’m working on my project called Other World. OW for short. One character, not a main or even a side kick though they do have something to do with a turning point in the story, is based on and old African water spirit/goddess of sorts. She had started out as a simple obscure mermaid and then I transformed her into this being portrayed in the old stories. It was unknowingly at first, just something I did, but then I realized I didn’t know a tidbit that I thought was important about old Mami Wata (or the river mamma in some languages) so I did a bit of research. It lead me to some things I didn’t know as I’ve never studied myths from this part of the world in detail.

Suddenly one or two things about her gave me some ideas and I ran (moused) back on over to my yWriter document and started typing as fast as I could. I now has a sub plot that I didn’t have before as well as a motive for a main character that I didn’t realize I was lacking.

Seeking to do more research on Mami I went to the book store (the net is too variable when it comes to myths, anyone can publish something, I wanted references and such) and found the myth isle which I’m becoming increasingly familiar with and sat down for the better part of four hours.

Sitting there I realized that I’ve read most of these books and seriously took something out of them that I’m using in real life. I’m not trying to tie myths from around the world into the plot of my latest fantasy idea and often I’m half way through before I realize it. I think back to when I went to Concord (it’s a charter school focused primarily on art, alas, they don’t prepare you much credit wise for beyond high school) where I took ancient history and passed even though it was my lazy years.

Then I went back to public school after public school, and so on and so forth until I came to the last one I attended. There I took Mythology and I loved it. I really did my work in that class and it really all stuck with me. I got along with my teacher very well, though I didn’t do much home work, well, any. We would have long discussions and I’d tell her about my writing and she’d lone me her personal books to take home (she’d rather I was reading ‘good’ literature in her class if I wasn’t going to do my work). I remember when she discovered my love of Hamlet she gave my a bag full of Shakespeare’s works and told me to keep them.

She really had an effect on me. When I was younger I had tons of reference books on ancient history and mythology, mostly Celtic/Irish in nature but I loved to learn it all. I even taught myself how to write in Ogham (semi Norse’ish) and Theban (somewhere near Egypt but after hieroglyphs… I think). I loved it all. I’ve always had a true love of it and I’ve never realized it until that moment sitting in the store.

With my train of thought my mind goes back to my teacher. Mind you I’ve only been out of public school two years or so I suppose, maybe three. She had a true blue effect on me in a way no one else has. We didn’t have personal talks but she knew what I was going through. I didn’t do work in her class but she made sure I still learned and let me flow my own way.

She has died recently. About six months back, very near to my home and though I hadn’t seen her for a long while and we weren’t close I sent a prayer. I find myself thinking of her often when I think about writing, another class she taught that I loved though oddly I failed (didn’t do my work).

I don’t think without her short presence in my life I would have had this startling realization after her death. I have realized that after I’m done with my education and I go on to continue it I want to learn more ancient history with a special emphasis on mythos. I want to get a job someday that requires me to talk about and delve and research all of this and especially to write about it.

The passion has always been there and the path has been waiting in front of me for the longest time but she helped me unveil it. She didn’t lift a finger and true- my writing is what led me to the bookstore but she kept my love of myth and history alive during the roughest time in my life. I didn’t even remember I loved it until now but if I hadn’t had that bridge point….

I’m babbling now. Anyway, I’m happy. I’ve found something to love and to strive for. Maybe this is the kick in the pants I need to complete my education. Who knows, perhaps I’ll end up teaching myth/ancient history and creative writing just like she did. Maybe, like her, I’ll have an impact on others with the smallest of touches long after presence.

This is a very babbly post, sorry about that. Might be because my thoughts on this all go in circles and it was during a moment of ‘clarity’ that all this came to the front of my mind. The key word here is moment. To realize something and relay it a day later is, well, fun to try.

Side note: I also just realized that I’ve used a lot of Japanese myth in one of my characters as well as ancient Japanese culture for their past. :)

My Vow Against the Spell Check

Yes. I’ve taken on another crusade of self betterment. To see my other little crusade which I have failed a few times (but not given up!) please see ‘My Vow Against the Mirror.’

This time I have decided to better myself as a writer and strive to be a little less lazy. It’s not quite as noble a cause as the other one but it’s easier to maintain and I’ll see results quicker. That doesn’t make it better in retrospect but it helps me feel like I’m achieving something. Sometimes it’s good to set small goals purposely that you know you can make just because it has a positive impact.

I’ve been doing this for awhile now but I’ve decided I want to make an official effort. We humans, not just writer’s in general, rely much too heavily on blessed technology known as Spell Check in all it’s many beautiful forms.

I write a great deal. It’s just how I am and I’m proud to say that even without SC my writing is readable. You don’t need to sound out individual syllables or go through to the end of the sentence to make sense of any one word (unless my vocabulary betrays me and I put the wrong word in the wrong spot but that’s more grammar than spelling). I often stumble over double consonants and typos abound in some of the worst places but it’s still coherent in it’s majority and that’s what matters right?

Wrong.

Now, I’ve always had this saying. "A good writer focuses on their writing and a good speller focuses on their spelling. I am a writer not a speller." So far this has served me well but I want to be able to do both. I am a wordsmith at heart and like any other artisan I should strive to perfect the craft I enjoy so much. Yes, I must turn the inner and technological editor off while I write because it’s a distraction but there is no reason why I shouldn’t make a better effort to improve my already decent spelling.

That and I was starting to feel just plain lazy when I would click SC and those red squiggly lines popped up. All I would do was search for the right word and a click it then move onto the next. Maybe a more observant person would learn from seeing the correct word in the list but I do not or have not- not that I was trying really.

Now when I see those lines instead of right clicking I go through and retype, and retype, and retype the word until I get it right. Sometimes it’s as simple as a typo and this retyping helps me be more aware and catch them quicker. Sometimes I’ve just forgotten the double T or P or  N or I’ve actually added one in the wrong word. Sometimes I have no clue how something is spelled like *thinks for a minute* alright I can’t think of anything at the moment but sometimes I use words that are fairly large and while I use them correctly sometimes I’m amazed at how they are truly spelled. This way I am learning. This way I am doing.

So, my vow is- instead of letting the SC do the work for me I’m going to switch my perception of it. It’s no longer a tool to make life easier in my eyes. It is now a resource to help me learn and better myself as well as an opportunity to practice ‘taking that extra step’ even when I don’t need to.

This may seem like an impossibly tiny thing but really whenever I’m done making a post and I see those squiggles after I hit the button it’s a reminder to work just a little harder and keep improving. Since I post just about every day I am reminded every day and find myself remembering at the oddest moments and taking more initiative in life.

This is my second vow *holds up tea in salute* here’s to ambition, perspective, and self improvement.

There were 8 misspellings in this post. 2 were typos.

Centered and Calm Inside and Out

Well, before I write anything today I’d just like to share three things with you.

The first is this: I’ve had a very good day today. I felt well physically even though I was in tears from cramps for the better part of an hour and I’ve had the chest pains for the past day or two. -I still feel well somehow. Though in pain I don’t feel sickly.

I only got to sleep a few hours because I had to be up early to go fill out some paper work for the health place and when I got home I didn’t get much sleep before I had to be awake again. Nonetheless I have felt rested today. I had one day off in the long and horrid week though it seems to have been enough.

Nothing overly exciting or extra positive has happened but neither has anything extra negative happened. In all honestly one would think I have no reason to feel any different than I felt the day before. Nothing has changed but I do feel good. I feel wonderful and happy. All my problems still exist, not a one has shrunk or gone away but I’m making peace with them as I do all things eventually. I can’t fight against the natural tides of my life but I can flow with them and what flows does not break. Those are really my only choices in the end of all problems. Flow or break and I refuse to be broken. :)

The second is even more exciting. I bought a new book! *squeal* It’s 365 Tao – Daily Meditations by Deng Ming-Dao. I love it almost a little more than my Tao Te Ching. It’s full of inspirations for the modern day Taoist which really helps me. Tao is undefinable at best, it just is, so it was a little difficult for me to grasp entirely at first even though most of my beliefs and philosophies already coincide. This book is just awesome though. I can understand it, mostly- I still have trouble in some parts where I need to reread and think about it for a moment but I like that. If it’s not making me think then I’m neither progressing in physical mind nor as a spiritual being both of which matter to me greatly.

My favorite passage today (I’m not reading them day by day I just flip around randomly which seems befitting of the whole Tao experience) is labeled Retrospect and it seems quite right that I should find this tidbit enjoyable at this point in my life. It reads:

You could labor ten years under a master
Trying to discern whether the teachings are true,
But all you might learn is this:
One must live one’s own life.

-Deng Ming-Dao

It just makes me smile all over. My face grins, my mind cackles, and my whole spirit dances joyously.

The third but certainly not last thing, since like usual I’ve thought of more but will put it into another post for all your sakes, is about work. Yes, I have something happy to say about work for once.

I’m getting another job!

Maybe. We’ll see. It’s undetermined at this point but I took the first step today, abet on a whim, and grabbed and application for the place down the street for me and asked the person in charge a bunch of questions and it seems like a good shot. I’ve even plotted a bit.

I’m going to keep my old, now horrible, job because it is a security net but if I get this other job then my old one is going to be part time. I’ll keep just enough hours on their busy days but then the rest of the time I’ll work at the other place. I’ll work all the hours they want me. Please remember that I do love to work, I just don’t like how I’m being treated at the old place.

Anyway, I also have a shot at better pay. The place is in walking distance and I already go there all the time. I like the people and the atmosphere is blessedly quiet and peaceable which to me really is more important than the pay. Also, I won’t be doing work that messes with my breathing issues nor my back/lifting issue. Heh, better still I might not have to wash dishes.

Given, I am getting my hopes up and I’ll be sad should it turn out I’m not what they’re looking for or the situation is completely different than what I’ve seen it to be but hoping makes me happy and I won’t fall hard if I get let down so what’s the harm?

Either way it’s up to the tides of the universe whether or not I get the job and whether or not it works out. I’ve laid the first step on the path and now I’ll see it through no matter how short or far it goes. I’ve done my part and now it’s time to be and flow. What happens- happens. So mote it be.