Centered and Calm Inside and Out
February 27th, 2008
Well, before I write anything today I’d just like to share three things with you.
The first is this: I’ve had a very good day today. I felt well physically even though I was in tears from cramps for the better part of an hour and I’ve had the chest pains for the past day or two. -I still feel well somehow. Though in pain I don’t feel sickly.
I only got to sleep a few hours because I had to be up early to go fill out some paper work for the health place and when I got home I didn’t get much sleep before I had to be awake again. Nonetheless I have felt rested today. I had one day off in the long and horrid week though it seems to have been enough.
Nothing overly exciting or extra positive has happened but neither has anything extra negative happened. In all honestly one would think I have no reason to feel any different than I felt the day before. Nothing has changed but I do feel good. I feel wonderful and happy. All my problems still exist, not a one has shrunk or gone away but I’m making peace with them as I do all things eventually. I can’t fight against the natural tides of my life but I can flow with them and what flows does not break. Those are really my only choices in the end of all problems. Flow or break and I refuse to be broken. :)
The second is even more exciting. I bought a new book! *squeal* It’s 365 Tao – Daily Meditations by Deng Ming-Dao. I love it almost a little more than my Tao Te Ching. It’s full of inspirations for the modern day Taoist which really helps me. Tao is undefinable at best, it just is, so it was a little difficult for me to grasp entirely at first even though most of my beliefs and philosophies already coincide. This book is just awesome though. I can understand it, mostly- I still have trouble in some parts where I need to reread and think about it for a moment but I like that. If it’s not making me think then I’m neither progressing in physical mind nor as a spiritual being both of which matter to me greatly.
My favorite passage today (I’m not reading them day by day I just flip around randomly which seems befitting of the whole Tao experience) is labeled Retrospect and it seems quite right that I should find this tidbit enjoyable at this point in my life. It reads:
You could labor ten years under a master
Trying to discern whether the teachings are true,
But all you might learn is this:
One must live one’s own life.-Deng Ming-Dao
It just makes me smile all over. My face grins, my mind cackles, and my whole spirit dances joyously.
The third but certainly not last thing, since like usual I’ve thought of more but will put it into another post for all your sakes, is about work. Yes, I have something happy to say about work for once.
I’m getting another job!
Maybe. We’ll see. It’s undetermined at this point but I took the first step today, abet on a whim, and grabbed and application for the place down the street for me and asked the person in charge a bunch of questions and it seems like a good shot. I’ve even plotted a bit.
I’m going to keep my old, now horrible, job because it is a security net but if I get this other job then my old one is going to be part time. I’ll keep just enough hours on their busy days but then the rest of the time I’ll work at the other place. I’ll work all the hours they want me. Please remember that I do love to work, I just don’t like how I’m being treated at the old place.
Anyway, I also have a shot at better pay. The place is in walking distance and I already go there all the time. I like the people and the atmosphere is blessedly quiet and peaceable which to me really is more important than the pay. Also, I won’t be doing work that messes with my breathing issues nor my back/lifting issue. Heh, better still I might not have to wash dishes.
Given, I am getting my hopes up and I’ll be sad should it turn out I’m not what they’re looking for or the situation is completely different than what I’ve seen it to be but hoping makes me happy and I won’t fall hard if I get let down so what’s the harm?
Either way it’s up to the tides of the universe whether or not I get the job and whether or not it works out. I’ve laid the first step on the path and now I’ll see it through no matter how short or far it goes. I’ve done my part and now it’s time to be and flow. What happens- happens. So mote it be.
here’s hoping, should you still want it, that you secure said job. but, either way, your infectious joy is a… joy. ;-) thank you for sharing.
i reckon i can empathise re your feelings, cos most of my days swing between highs and lows, and yet the majority of things remain the same, with the differences in my head. it’s these things i would like to better manage, and it’s seeing someone like your good self in such high spirits that helps inspire such wants. or needs? ;-)
may you feel the spirits blessings every day. :-)
J1M: Good point. Joy is joy and that’s the most important fact. No matter what happens so long as I can hold onto a bit of joy I should be able to make it through anything.
*nods* Sometimes I wish my mind was more in snyc with my outer world or vice versa but now that I think about it, I’m honestly relieved it’s not! :D
Ah, needing verse wanting. A fellow wordsmith like you should know those are just words. The meaning is what ‘you’ put behind them. ;)
To you as well, and may we both be wise enough in some light or another to see said blessings and recognize them for what they are.
-Tofu