Written Whispers

Alright. I know, this is my sixth post tonight but I figured since I’ve shared darn near every single thought that’s looked at me crossways tonight I should leave you with my last ones before I drift off to whatever realm my spirit seeks to flitter into.

This is a prayer I say often before sleeping. It’s modified from a semi new (written in last ten years’ish?) Wiccan/Neo Pagan prayer written by Silver Ravenwolf an activist against religious discrimination.

This is my version:

In the darkness of the night
While the world around me sleeps,
May the angels smile upon me
And the Lady bring me peace.

Instill in me great harmony-
In thought, and word, and deed.
Blessings upon all those I know and love,
I know you’ll give them what they need.

By peace and soul
So mote it be.

Whenever I babysat I used to tell the kids a similar version of this prayer though slightly ‘more’ modified to keep all religious connotations out just in case.

Good night all.

You know what? I love everything. The good, the bad, and the junk. Everything is part of everything and even when things don’t go the way I want them to I still have so much to… to… everything!

I’m thankful, proud, happy, learning, accepting, teaching, growing, seeing, experiencing, curious, loving, moving, everything. Everything!

The universe is one big puddle. All things are part of the same stuff. When I dance the universe is dancing with me. When I sing it too sings. When I cry it seems as if all is crying. When I understand, in those rare few moments like this, then it is as if the whole universe is full of understanding.

See light and be light. See dark and be dark. See neither and be nothing. See both and see everything. Experience it all in all it’s fullness. Walk all the paths you can, regret no mistakes, and never try to go back on a choice. See. Be. Dance. Flow. Love.

Everything.

[Read first comment for post explanation, kind of.]

[Note: Will be doing comments tonight, might nap first.]

I have had a moment of clarity. though brief and fleeting I think there was just enough power in it that it may have changed where I’m heading in life.

A few months ago, just after November and the NaNoWriMo, I started looking into Norse myths because I had somehow subconsciously weaved what I knew of them into my story. It was a wonderful moment when I discovered this and I immediate set out and started to do some research, looking further into Norse mythology and history (neither I’m a novice at). It was fun and had a great effect on my whole story writing experience and helped to shape my story with new ideas and old concepts. Truly wonderful all around.

A month or so later I had an idea for a story I have yet to begin. It’s in the ‘if I get sudden inspiration and time’ pile for now. It tied into all the different mythos I’ve read about the moon and sun, mostly the moon me being primarily a Wiccan for the longest time. Lots of Celtic and Egyptian concepts all tied together in ways so small that only a historian or another person with great interest in mythology would be able to pin point.

Now I’m working on my project called Other World. OW for short. One character, not a main or even a side kick though they do have something to do with a turning point in the story, is based on and old African water spirit/goddess of sorts. She had started out as a simple obscure mermaid and then I transformed her into this being portrayed in the old stories. It was unknowingly at first, just something I did, but then I realized I didn’t know a tidbit that I thought was important about old Mami Wata (or the river mamma in some languages) so I did a bit of research. It lead me to some things I didn’t know as I’ve never studied myths from this part of the world in detail.

Suddenly one or two things about her gave me some ideas and I ran (moused) back on over to my yWriter document and started typing as fast as I could. I now has a sub plot that I didn’t have before as well as a motive for a main character that I didn’t realize I was lacking.

Seeking to do more research on Mami I went to the book store (the net is too variable when it comes to myths, anyone can publish something, I wanted references and such) and found the myth isle which I’m becoming increasingly familiar with and sat down for the better part of four hours.

Sitting there I realized that I’ve read most of these books and seriously took something out of them that I’m using in real life. I’m not trying to tie myths from around the world into the plot of my latest fantasy idea and often I’m half way through before I realize it. I think back to when I went to Concord (it’s a charter school focused primarily on art, alas, they don’t prepare you much credit wise for beyond high school) where I took ancient history and passed even though it was my lazy years.

Then I went back to public school after public school, and so on and so forth until I came to the last one I attended. There I took Mythology and I loved it. I really did my work in that class and it really all stuck with me. I got along with my teacher very well, though I didn’t do much home work, well, any. We would have long discussions and I’d tell her about my writing and she’d lone me her personal books to take home (she’d rather I was reading ‘good’ literature in her class if I wasn’t going to do my work). I remember when she discovered my love of Hamlet she gave my a bag full of Shakespeare’s works and told me to keep them.

She really had an effect on me. When I was younger I had tons of reference books on ancient history and mythology, mostly Celtic/Irish in nature but I loved to learn it all. I even taught myself how to write in Ogham (semi Norse’ish) and Theban (somewhere near Egypt but after hieroglyphs… I think). I loved it all. I’ve always had a true love of it and I’ve never realized it until that moment sitting in the store.

With my train of thought my mind goes back to my teacher. Mind you I’ve only been out of public school two years or so I suppose, maybe three. She had a true blue effect on me in a way no one else has. We didn’t have personal talks but she knew what I was going through. I didn’t do work in her class but she made sure I still learned and let me flow my own way.

She has died recently. About six months back, very near to my home and though I hadn’t seen her for a long while and we weren’t close I sent a prayer. I find myself thinking of her often when I think about writing, another class she taught that I loved though oddly I failed (didn’t do my work).

I don’t think without her short presence in my life I would have had this startling realization after her death. I have realized that after I’m done with my education and I go on to continue it I want to learn more ancient history with a special emphasis on mythos. I want to get a job someday that requires me to talk about and delve and research all of this and especially to write about it.

The passion has always been there and the path has been waiting in front of me for the longest time but she helped me unveil it. She didn’t lift a finger and true- my writing is what led me to the bookstore but she kept my love of myth and history alive during the roughest time in my life. I didn’t even remember I loved it until now but if I hadn’t had that bridge point….

I’m babbling now. Anyway, I’m happy. I’ve found something to love and to strive for. Maybe this is the kick in the pants I need to complete my education. Who knows, perhaps I’ll end up teaching myth/ancient history and creative writing just like she did. Maybe, like her, I’ll have an impact on others with the smallest of touches long after presence.

This is a very babbly post, sorry about that. Might be because my thoughts on this all go in circles and it was during a moment of ‘clarity’ that all this came to the front of my mind. The key word here is moment. To realize something and relay it a day later is, well, fun to try.

Side note: I also just realized that I’ve used a lot of Japanese myth in one of my characters as well as ancient Japanese culture for their past. :)

Yes. I’ve taken on another crusade of self betterment. To see my other little crusade which I have failed a few times (but not given up!) please see ‘My Vow Against the Mirror.’

This time I have decided to better myself as a writer and strive to be a little less lazy. It’s not quite as noble a cause as the other one but it’s easier to maintain and I’ll see results quicker. That doesn’t make it better in retrospect but it helps me feel like I’m achieving something. Sometimes it’s good to set small goals purposely that you know you can make just because it has a positive impact.

I’ve been doing this for awhile now but I’ve decided I want to make an official effort. We humans, not just writer’s in general, rely much too heavily on blessed technology known as Spell Check in all it’s many beautiful forms.

I write a great deal. It’s just how I am and I’m proud to say that even without SC my writing is readable. You don’t need to sound out individual syllables or go through to the end of the sentence to make sense of any one word (unless my vocabulary betrays me and I put the wrong word in the wrong spot but that’s more grammar than spelling). I often stumble over double consonants and typos abound in some of the worst places but it’s still coherent in it’s majority and that’s what matters right?

Wrong.

Now, I’ve always had this saying. "A good writer focuses on their writing and a good speller focuses on their spelling. I am a writer not a speller." So far this has served me well but I want to be able to do both. I am a wordsmith at heart and like any other artisan I should strive to perfect the craft I enjoy so much. Yes, I must turn the inner and technological editor off while I write because it’s a distraction but there is no reason why I shouldn’t make a better effort to improve my already decent spelling.

That and I was starting to feel just plain lazy when I would click SC and those red squiggly lines popped up. All I would do was search for the right word and a click it then move onto the next. Maybe a more observant person would learn from seeing the correct word in the list but I do not or have not- not that I was trying really.

Now when I see those lines instead of right clicking I go through and retype, and retype, and retype the word until I get it right. Sometimes it’s as simple as a typo and this retyping helps me be more aware and catch them quicker. Sometimes I’ve just forgotten the double T or P or  N or I’ve actually added one in the wrong word. Sometimes I have no clue how something is spelled like *thinks for a minute* alright I can’t think of anything at the moment but sometimes I use words that are fairly large and while I use them correctly sometimes I’m amazed at how they are truly spelled. This way I am learning. This way I am doing.

So, my vow is- instead of letting the SC do the work for me I’m going to switch my perception of it. It’s no longer a tool to make life easier in my eyes. It is now a resource to help me learn and better myself as well as an opportunity to practice ‘taking that extra step’ even when I don’t need to.

This may seem like an impossibly tiny thing but really whenever I’m done making a post and I see those squiggles after I hit the button it’s a reminder to work just a little harder and keep improving. Since I post just about every day I am reminded every day and find myself remembering at the oddest moments and taking more initiative in life.

This is my second vow *holds up tea in salute* here’s to ambition, perspective, and self improvement.

There were 8 misspellings in this post. 2 were typos.