Written Whispers

So, the prompt I read for today went along the lines of "Write about a time someone said no." It wasn’t today’s prompt but I didn’t like today’s prompt so- I simply decided to randomly pick another. I can do. There’s no rule that says I can’t.

I find myself thinking about all the times that I (as the someone) said or didn’t say no.

I have said no to this and yes to that. These are my choices. In some I have fallen and in others I have risen, some choices I would change if I knew in that moment what the outcome would be, but looking back from ‘this’ moment I wouldn’t change a single one.

Each choice is a footstep down one path or another. They take me this direction, left, and right, and back again. I can’t know where they are leading me or the directions I have chosen to take and from whence I came to make them. That’s how choices work after all, isn’t it? It is to me.

I have said no to drugs even when my own mother offered. It was a choice I only had to make once as I make sure everyone else around me knows that I’m not into that sort of thing. I don’t disapprove of certain drugs and how they are used but that things just not for me. It’s like clams. There’s nothing wrong with them but I don’t want them, heck, I like clams but I don’t eat them. I just don’t want to so I choose not to.

I have said yes to sex a time when I shouldn’t have. I kept my virginity longer than most girls in this day and age, and for that I am proud, but a part of me will always wish I had wait just a year longer. I regret much about this choice but not enough to go back and change it if I could.

I have said no to those trying to change my faith. My beliefs are as unique as my soul and the pattern of my thumbprint, a snowflake among religions. This is a choice I make more and more often as I discovere more and more what I do and don’t believe in. I’ve also chosen not to force my beliefs on others, to believe that what they believe is right for them and only them. Organized religion seems a crock to me, for it is the individual who must believe and not the group.

I have said yes to loyalty many a time. Some of those times I should not have been so loyal. It was not good for me nor the other person, but I still hold the same respect I hold till this day though my tongue is a little looser on the subject and I’m a little more cautious of others motives. This choice has taught me much. It has taught that I’m a good person but that I can also be a fool, it has taught me that other people can be monsters but they can also return the loyalty in their own time.

I have said no to my darkness. Though I willingly accept both the light, the dark, and the gray within I will constantly battle to do what I feel is light in motivation. I am capable of foul deeds but I have chosen to keep an eye on myself, to question myself, and keep true to myself within my own boundaries.

I have said yes to family. I can’t imagine ever regretting this choice and I would make it over and over again given the chance. A fiance’, siblings, adoptive, and biological family. Friendship that surpass that whole blood is thicker than water thing. Besides water doesn’t leave stains quite so gruesome on the carpeting of my soul. ;)

I have said no to choices. Sounds like an oxy moron kind of thing to say, right? Well, I mean it none the less but perhaps not in the way you may think. I have said no to the choices others have given me, saying I have ‘only’ those choices and no others.

I say no to that. I will make my own choice and choose my own paths. No one can take that away from me. I will not allow it.

I have said yes to my own choices as you can plainly see. Yes and no. These aren’t the only ones, not in my mind, but they are the clearest and each one makes a greater difference than  you can imagine. If I had changed my answers for all the choices you see above would I really be here, posting like this, right now? I don’t think so. I would have lost so much of myself and become someone else, it would have still been me but something within says it would not have been a version of me I would have liked.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 27th, 2008 at 8:37 am and is filed under Group Prompts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.