Written Whispers

Nothing inspiring here. Just an update on life. Feel free to skip. I’m sure I’ll write something interesting in the next post.

Wow, and I thought December was a low posting month for me! Fortunately it’s still early and like always I am too full of words to go long without sharing. I haven’t even been reading blogs these passed few days because I was busy with the reopening of my website.  I had nearly 70 members to transfer from one directory to another, manual password changes, and personalized emails sent out. So, for once I don’t feel too guilty for being gone so long.

I’m doing much better this week than the last. I’ve let the whole job thing fall into numbness where it shall rot and eventual decompose and recycle itself as a future writing project. Just like all my other issues. If you’re a writer and people claim you bottle stuff away you should tell them "Nope, I’m just proud to recycle" and besides anything can be turned into a writing experience and I’m not really ignoring how I feel about because I know when I relive it on the keyboard I’ll feel it ten times as worse- I’m just deciding to deal with it on a later date when I’m less prone to handling it poorly. On that note, I’m proud to say I’m slowly getting my balance back and the thoughts I was having have faded back into the small box I keep them in at the back of my soul. To sum it up: I’m all good.

I’ve been working on a new story (when I wasn’t hard coding and trying to get my forum to look navigatable) the past week or so which is a record for me. Usually I have trouble working on one single writing related project for more than 4 days unless my inspiration has had some caffeine. My Hunny was trying to encourage me to learn some self disciplin because I’m always complaining that I can’t seem to finish anything, so I’m trying my darnedest to only work on this one story for as long as I can (unless my inner muse suddenly gets bored and smacks her head into the walls of my skull in frustration and I get inspired by the bruise it creates). So far so good, I worked my way past a plot whole and a boring part. Mind you I’m still in the outlining process so it feels very much like NaNo writing. I’m nearly at 20,000 words. 16,000 if you disregard my notes but I don’t since it is still just an outline and the bigger word count makes me giggle.

Usually I write in a mostly fantasy type genre -or- I write something about child abuse, a rather new passion of mine to be honest. With this latest story I find myself writing about both of them. It’s not adult or overtly mature in some parts like the rest of my chapter work but instead it’s more for young adults and instead of being inwardly deep (like my other stuff) it’s outwardly deep. I find myself pulling at experiences I’ve lived through for inspiration in parts but not writing about them in a way that wrenches my soul like Rain of the Forgotten. It’s interesting and I find myself wondering at the subconscious psychology behind my sudden ‘idea’ for this story. You can see the pathetic summary for it to your left in my updated list of projects. It’s titled as Untitled. :) I should have a short excerpt or two up on my private writing blog soon. For anyone who doesn’t have access to my private blog but who wants it- email me and I’ll think about it.

Went to Olive Garden today with my Hunny and his mom. I got to eat shrimp so I’m mighty happy about that and I quite enjoyed the stories of his childhood and such. After that we went to Borders and I was elated to find out an anime series I’ve fallen for had another DVD out. I plan on watching it shortly after this post. After all this I came home and worked on my site for a bit, well, I didn’t really work on it. I just made a bunch of forum posts and added one new feature. Then I took a nap waiting for my friend Val to come over for the very last time- she’s moving to Virginia.

I’m very sad about that last bit there. I haven’t known her very long but she’s pretty much my best friend. We met online via a mutual friend that I did know in real life and then we started to hang out not long after. She would come over, we’d sleep till noon and stay up till daybreak, eat nothing but pizza and do our own thing. Neither of us were very social so we didn’t expect much of one another. It was nice not to have anything expected of me. I gave her advice and tried to help her with some things and without knowing it she did the same for me. I’m glad she’s moving because it will bring her to a better life and get her away from certain bad habits that are harmful but I’m still very sad. I haven’t yet cried but I can feel the lump in my throat and I’ve been listening to a lot of music that I know will make it bigger.

She’s pretty excite but none too happy about the single weeks notice as that’s hardly enough time to say goodbyes. She’s promised to call me and email on occasion but I still feel strange, but, not depressed yet but now I won’t be able to watch out for her and that makes me feel… well bad. Bad enough I had a nightmare about her death of all things.

But, I’m still doing good. I’m not going to let this scar me, merely a bruise that will fade over time. I love her like I love so many others and I already knew I couldn’t protect her entirely or help her as much as I wanted to and I know this isn’t going to kill me but I still want to be sad. Just not till she’s gone that way I don’t make her sad. I feel bad enough that she has to leave her cat children behind.

PS: Double and triple thankies to all you worried people out there who emailed me when I disappeared. I apologize for making you concerned.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 10th, 2008 at 10:04 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.