Written Whispers

Alright, I was on one of my fave sites (Care2.com) picking out eCards for everyone when I took a glance on the side bar. They have this thing called "Taking Action" where they list off something like ‘eat one vegetarian meal a week’, ‘buy eco friendly products’, or ‘go for a walk’. It’s usually something in relation to green or healthy living. Today though it said something a little different from the usual. I’d love to know what member picked this and thank them for the inspirational thoughts they’ve provoked in me. Thoughts are like my chocolate, I just can’t get enough.

The request for action asked people to: "Be thankful for who you are". I absolutely love that. If you’ve read my last post, or even my last few, you might have noticed I’m a little depressed and changing in a couple of work related ways I’m not fond of but I am still so happy despite what’s going on.

I am thankful every day- not just for the day itself, the people around me, or the good fortune I’ve been blessed with. But I really am thankful for who I am!

When I was fifteen I went through a life changing experience that I couldn’t possibly fit into this single post let alone a thousand. I figured out, at least a tiny bit, who I wanted to be as a person spiritually and mentally and even a little bit with my actions. I started to talk, I walked with my head held high, I made choices (some I shouldn’t have but none that I regret). I even went as far as to change my spiritual name.

So, this is me…

I am a person: an adult’s mind trapped in a child’s form. I am a young lady, a fiance’, daughter, a sister, and a mother of cats. I love to talk, to tell my stories and weave my words. I love to share everything in my head not just for the sake of others but so that I can learn more about myself. That’s a hobby of mine. I love being asked questions and though I may act modest I actually covet any praise placed upon me with great greed.

I am a very nervous person and people scare me but the thing that frightens me most is myself. I am a liar because I can and have lied many a time without remorse. I am often paranoid and I am afraid of my anger because it makes me shaky and I have a tendency to imagine violent things. I am quite and often unwilling to test boundaries until I’m forced to.

I am wild. I love to dance in the rain, my arms outstretched and running in circles. I like to sing songs without words and move without music. I like to tell people that I love them even if they are only friends and acquaintances just because it’s true. I am oddly cultured. I love classical music and really do like the taste of both tofu and soy milk though not in the same meal. I like to dress up when I have no place to, I’ll wear dresses, heels, and earrings just for a night alone eating popcorn on the couch.

I am book smart. I don’t deny it unless someone tells me to my face. I am not street smart though I’d like people to think otherwise. I am naive and wise all in the same step like a grandfather trying to learn how to work the latest computer. I am older than myself but with each year I gain I seem to be becoming more of a child and often fear I’m becoming immature though I know my therapist would say I’m just letting myself be a kid.

I am an internet nerd, completely self taught in web design. I am an anime freak with some other strange but related interests on the side. I am a hard worker but I am also lazy and lacking ambition. I am not as emotional as I desire to be.

I am a contradiction and a paradox and I revel in these facts. I like to confuse people. I am a Wiccan, a true blue believer in Faeries and angels, a Taoist, and something different all together. I believe in things most wouldn’t dare speak of. I am too open sometimes and loyal to a fault. I often try to please too many people to the point of forgetting myself.

I am aware of my spirit and feel that I am something special inside. Sometimes I am afraid I’m deluding myself but I don’t dwell on it. I am a wee bit less on the outside than I would wish to be. I am vain but consciously so- that has to count for something. I am not always a good person and often have my own motives but I try to make up for it with good actions from my motives.

I am not musically talented though I am constantly trying to play instruments and occasionally trying to write music. I am not good at communicating. I am forcing myself to bare my soul on this blog and though it hurts at times I love the rush it gets me. I am a poor speller and a decent writer.

I am not who I used to be. I am a Spirit. I am Feeby.

This is me. Who are you?

This is my Christmas dare: Bare your soul in a post. Think about everything you are. Try not to write what you were and use the present tense. Be bluntly honest with the good and the bad. Write everything thing you can think of but don’t over think it or take more than 10 or 15 minutes. After all no single person can be entirely placed on a page and pinned with mere words. The spirit is too much for that.

Merry Christmas and Yule to all!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2007 at 10:56 am and is filed under Taoism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.