My Vow Against the Mirror
December 4th, 2007
Alright, I have this nasty habit… wait, I take that back. I have several nasty habits but one in particular made me start to think this morning.
Now and then when I walk past a mirror I’ll get caught by my reflection. People have told me I’m pretty but like most my gender- I have to see it for myself before I believe it. So, I walk up to the mirror and sometimes I’ll just stand there for a bit and pick out all the things wrong. I have horridly crooked teeth, slightly stained. My lazy eye drifts more often than not. I’m way too pale and I have zits. In these moments this is horrible to me and I dislike it so much but as soon as I look away from the mirror I’m fine. I like how I look, but I do not like to look at my flaws. All the same, I do not wear makeup. Never have, never will, unless I’m bored and want to play dress up (yeah, it happens even at 19).
Sometimes in these moments when I can’t help but look at natural and normal human flaws I’ll look to my eyes. Dark circles and these little red veins from straining and not wearing my glasses but I don’t notice them. I love my eyes, they’re one of the few features I can’t complain about. I just love the shape and the colors. :) Well, I sat there for a moment and then a thought struck me. I say struck in the literal sense. It just came out of nowhere and beat me in the head- and for that I am thankful.
Why look for beauty in my face when there is already too much in the world I’m missing? To clarify: There is so much beauty in the world. Be it in the trees, the rivers, the snow, the very earth herself, or in the simple act of writing I enjoy so much. Be it in the childlike play of my cat children, or the soft lips of my special someone. Be it in my eyes or in my heart- beauty is everywhere and those few moments I spend in front of the mirror picking out all those supposed ‘flaws’ and moments that I’m letting it all pass me by.
I’m even missing the beauty in my flaws! If I find beauty in the natural state of the earth in every grain of sand and dirt then why can’t I find it in my perfectly natural zits? They’re a part of me and like constellations in the sky if I ever get bored I can play dot to dot. My one eye that drifts off to the side? Why be symmetrical? I want to be crooked and odd. My overtly pale complexion? Well, if people want to keep telling me that I look sickly I’ll just have to point out that it would be sicker of me to try and cover up my natural tone with powders and creams like the rest of the populace. At least I don’t have nasty chemicals seeping into my pores and rotting over night. Bleh.
So, I will no longer look into that mirror. I can see my beauty well enough in the mirror of my heart and in the reflection of my writing or the reactions I get from those I show my true side to. I don’t need to look to brush my teeth and my hairs too short to do much with anyway’s. I don’t need makeup and who needs a mirror for much more than that? Not me. So, I am vowing as of this moment that I will do my best not to look into the mirror of what society wants as well as my own mirror until I have spent appropriate time appreciating the beauty around and within me.
There are so many beautiful people in this world and most of them don’t even know it because they are blinded by these evil contraptions. I have placed towels over mine. It’s a little odd right now but I’ll get over it. I don’t really need to know what I look like. In fact the more I know the more self conscious I am so if I don’t know then I can walk with a little more confidence. If I can walk with confidence then I can spread it to those around me.
In honor of natural beauty I have merely spell checked this post. I haven’t read it over and I’m letting it go as is. Deal with it. ;)
This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 4th, 2007 at 6:34 pm and is filed under Life Stories, Taoism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
stick it to the man/mirror!
Good way to look at things, really. Physical looks are such a shallow thing to base stuff on, and such a poor reflection of what’s really important. I’m going to stop here before I delve any deeper into cliche…
Anyway, just another example of when you sound much wiser than your age would indicate.
well done spirit, oh if you pass by my blog and check out A Roar for powerful words there is a surprise for you.
quill
i love this post!
i’ve never really worn makeup either. my stepmother used to pressure me to wear it in high school so i did a little but i’m 32 now and I still don’t wear it, not even when i was working in corporate america so you go girl!
You are awesome and beautiful. :o)
I am absolutely awe-struck by your truthful post! How often do I find myself going through the same horrendous ritual. I think I’ll place towels over my mirror as well. I am certainly going to dive deep into your blog… I’m sure there’s worlds more to bless my day!
Keep on writing, my friend!
Yours,
Jo
James: Yeah! ;)
Branth: I’m the first one to admit I’m a bit more than just a bit vain at times but I’m glad I can still see it from another point of view. Thankies. Sometimes I’m glad I don’t sound my age. ;)
Quill: Thankies! I shall be over there momentarily. Alas, I have been gone the past few days and have so much cathing up to do. :)
JC: When I was about 16 my adoptive mom taught me how to wear makeup because she thought it was a shame that my own mother never did. It was, so I wore the stuff now and then for awhile but very little. After all it’s not suposed to cover up my natural face like some girls my age believe. :D
Thankies!!!
EW: Thankies you!
Jo: Isn’t it horrible to catch yourself doing it! Goodness knows I can catch myself there at least twice a day sometimes. So far I’ve only almost taken the towel off the mirror once and it was quite hard to stop myself. I litterally had to talk myself out of it.
Hehehe, hey we can start a mirror boycotting movement together! :D I hope you enjoy my blog, now that I’m back I should be posting a ton more.
Blessed be all and thankies for the comments. I’m really quite proud of this post.
You’re beautiful, spirit, and I’m lucky to know you by way of your blog. :D
Hugs, JJ
What a great post :D
You had me smile there, because everything you write is true. Girl power ;-)
*Andi*
Nature Nut: Thankies. Your few words touch me more than you know.
Andi: Heheheh ;D Girl power indeed! :D
powerful stuff. Write on.
Don’t need to tell me twice. :)
:D :D
lovely.
simply lovely.
and so nice to see.
:D :D
J1M: Thankies :D
Spirit, this was the first post of yours I ever read and since then I’ve been riveted. In fact, this one really encouraged me to do the “towel thing” again. ;-)
Jo: Ah, this remains my all time favorite post ever. :D I know, sometimes I lose my battle with the mirror but whenever I come back to this post I just get that nerve up again. I’m glad you’re trying to stick to it too, inner beuaty and the world’s beauty are so much ‘more’ than what one can see in their face- it’s a shame to be stuck in front of that magic portal of doom sometimes reflecting negativity back at ourselves. :) Thankies for reminding me this post was here Jo. :)
Thanks your message has very much helped me:)
I’m glad I could help. :)