Conversations With My Characters
November 18th, 2007
Well, I was writing earlier. Not my NaNo writing like I probably should have been doing but some other stuff I ha simmering on some back burner in my mind. Two of my characters were having a conversation. One a wise elder with a kind face, the other much younger, stubborn, and still finding their way in their world.
“What is your true form?” The elder character asked. “What makes you- you?”
The younger character thought for a moment- and thought, and thought, and thought. Generally my characters talk on there own and lead me through the plot but as I stared at my keyboard waiting I realized it was me who was thinking and as such only I could answer.
“Am I the sum of what the other characters have made me?” The young one asked me.
“No.” I mentally replied and then paused. I don’t want my character to be the sum of the people around him or her but what if they are?
Then I thought about myself. I personally don’t want to be the end result of those who brought me up. So, I looked at what my character and I had in common and thought about it a little more before I continued.
“No.” I continued. “Others have continually tried to make you into something- whether that something was what you were or not? I don’t know. What I do know is that it didn’t work.
“When they couldn’t bend you and shape you into something of their own desire they grew angry or frustrated and tried to break you.
“When you would not break they gave up or tried to turn you into something more malleable.
“When neither of those things sprung a reaction from you they decided their was something wrong with you and left to go change someone else.” I paused for a moment and went over what I’d just put into my characters head and tried to remember if I had a point and then I saw it.
“They gave up.” I told the young character, repeating this grand revelation like wisdom of the ages even though I too had only just realized it. “They gave up. They bent, trying many different things- even appeasement at times, and when that didn’t work they broke. They gave up and left you for the next person in line to try their hand at.
“You did not give up. You did not bend, or break, or anything else. You stayed true to you even though you don’t know what you are yet. You are stubborn but they are not. Thus, you are not the sum of them otherwise you would have bent and broken by now.” I smiled mentally, hoping that my character doesn’t realize that the person holding the pen that controls their life is still learning herself.
My young character thought on this for a little bit, letting it sink in and thinking back on the others. Then they nodded and turned to the wise elder, a little more self assured now. “I am stubborn. I am me. I cannot be anything else and though others may try to make something out of me, even if it’s just so they know what to call me, it won’t work. I am the sum of their failed attempts and nothing more because each time they gave up it was another time when I didn’t.” They thought for another moment as I searched my writing mind for the perfect finishing sentence. “My true form is what you see and nothing more. Not even I can name it.”
Interesting and introspective. Sometimes a stubborn nature makes one find ways to succeed.
Indeed. I’ve been called hard headed at times when all I was doing was trying to be me. Whoever said being stubborn was a bad thing clearly wasn’t looking at the up side of things.