Did you know Desserts is Stressed spelled backwards?

I’m feeling much better today. Found out my headaches were stress related. See, I have this thing with tensing (they call it grinding but i can do it when my mouth is open too) my jaw up. Apparently when you do this too much you can put strain on all the various bones in your skull. Hmm, who’d a thunk it?

Anyways, so I’m sitting there and the doctor asks me what I’m stressed out about? Now about a year ago I would have laughed manically in his face and said everything. It would have been true enough. Well, things have changed since then. I had to think about for a long time, seriously.

I’m happier right now in life than I have ever been. Yeah some things still suck and not everything is rainbows and sunshine but I’m alive, I’m loved, I love, and I’m free from many things. I told him that there was nothing stressing me out. Mind you though, I’m think about current daily events and it’s true, none of those are really stressing me to the point of needing to see a doctor unless I’m seriously over looking something.

Then he had to go and ask me if I have trouble falling asleep at night and if my mind ‘races’. Heh, sometimes I don’t sleep at all I just lay there and think. It’s mostly about my past. It seems I can’t keep those thoughts at bay when I’m getting ready to sleep. I have panic attacks and the occasional bout of paranoia all before I drift off to dreamland. If I work on my stories right before I sleep and I get into that extra creative mode I spend the whole night awake thinking about the story with my eyes closed. The last part isn’t stressful the the rest of it makes me all tense.

So, he prescribed a nightly relax kind of pill to make me calm before I sleep and told me I should consider counseling. I thought that last bit was funny since I have no health insurance and the last time I did ‘we’ deemed me uneeding of such treatment as I was clearing able to think my way through most of my issues.

*sigh*

So, now I’m on this bedtime pill that’s supposed to make my daytime headaches go away. Hmm. I took it the first night but forgot to last night. :D I know- I’m horrible but I have a thing against pills. Even though they’re small and ‘for my own good’ I’d rather not take them if I didn’t have to. I’m buying a mouth guard and sucking on Jolly Ranchers.

Anyways, that’s all I had to say in case anyone who read one of my last posts, can’t remember the title but it had the word crap in it, and was worried about me.

I got the title of this post from a saying on one of the menus at work.

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