My Two Addictions

I’m addicted to distraction. It’s like a bad drug that I can’t put down because it feels good but like all drugs the high is only relative. I want to write, I can feel the creative juices pent up inside of me waiting to be released. It’s like when a druggie realizes they miss what’s real in life and what matters to them.

I keep watching television, I hate Tv, nothing is on, but instead of turning it off I just keep flipping through the channels. I have music on my laptop but instead of just clicking play and letting it be I have to search the net for many thousands of other songs to listen to for free and repeat the process every five minutes or so. Or I’ll stop and check my email. I only have like eight of them for goodness sakes they don’t ALL need to be checked ten times daily. The only one that matters to me is the one for my site and I only need to check that like three times a day to make sure progress is going as it should. The rest are just spam buffers. Or worse, when I do find a spare moment I come over here and post in this damn blog that no one reads!

All these distractions. Writing is meaningful to me, I don’t like television, I have music, email is well- just email. I can disconnect from the Internet or turn the Tv off at any point in time but do I do it? No. Instead I just complain mentally or agonize over the fact that I have so much creativity running through me right now and I’m too lazy to take out the distractions and put it to good use.

Writing is my other addiction. It’s my drug, but it’s not a bad drug. It’s more like a prescription. Whatever my soul is made out of says: “Hey, you NEED to do this otherwise bad stuff happens!” I can experiment with this drug safely, change the elements and compounds, tweak the recipe, and I can even sell it on the street corner if I was brave enough but either way you look at it- it’s still writing and I still need it. Seriously, I just can’t stop stressing that I wouldn’t do anything to stop the distraction, that I was too lazy for my passion.

Well, the rehab starts here!

I have turned the Tv off, put the kettle on, and as soon as I’m happy with this post I’m going to unplug my Internet and move out of reach from the cord (I might just leave yahoo messenger on a little longer though.). The house is silent, my hunny is sleeping, my cell phone is off, it’s six in the morning so no one will be coming over. I’m tired and nearly ready for bed but I don’t care. I need to write at least something before I go to bed. I can’t be so lazy that I put the idiot box before the well being of myself in mind, body, and spirit.

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