Waking Up
September 19th, 2007
Just woke up. I only have an hour before work and I know that if I start working on my serious writing now and get into it I’ll be distracted and possibly ornery all day because I can’t work on it so I’ll just make a blog post instead. It’s almost like my morning cup of coffee, except no one will let me drink coffee and it’s 3:30 in the afternoon. In the end all that matters is it gets my brain juices flowing.
I’ve started to notice that the more and more I’m getting into writing again the more in touch with myself I’m becoming. That’s actually quite important to me. I lost so much of myself that last time I went into foster care and it’s not like I’d found much to lose but it was enough. When you wake up one day to the realization that everything in your like was a lie, finally able to see that your mother has been a schizophrenic drunk most of your life, and that morally and legally speaking you’ve been quite neglected- well, let’s just say it has a way of waking one up. Literally.
When I look back I can’t remember thinking as much as I do now. I really was just a hollow shell, so much potential as a person but a person I was not. When I started waking up and the gears in my mind started grinding away I became a whole new person. It’s a little sad too, in the end I had to leave my mother. I went to live with some friends and had the best year of my life but I still feel bad. It’s still something that had to be done though, for the good of both of us. Anyways, enough talk on that. I don’t want to start depressing myself now. I’m in a good mood.
Someday I’m going to be a writer. I keep reminding myself of this. It doesn’t matter if I’m well known or a best seller I just want to get all my stories out of my brain on onto the paper. :) In a way I’m already a writer just not an accomplished one yet.
Well, this has been my cup ‘o coffee. I think I’ll go buzz around the net for a little bit and then it’s off to work. Bleh.
